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Colonial hangover..!

Sachin looked stunned as he stared at the two psychiatrists sitting in front of him at a restaurant near Buckingham Palace. "If what you both say is true then it explains why I never make high scores in Test matches in England, " he said shaking his head in wonder, "and all along I thought my game needs improving, and have been wasting my time at the nets." The two psychiatrists, one a Welshman and the other Irish, shook their heads in sympathy. "There is nothing wrong with your game," said the Irishman. "You are the best batsman in the world," said the other.

"But you are suffering from 'colonial hangover'," said both together, as Sachin nodded his troubled head slowly in realisation and agreement.

"I would like to be the best batsman in the world in England also," said Sachin shyly, "is there some cure for this colonial hangover?" The two psychiatrists looked at each other and then looked at Sachin. "Yes," said the Welshman, "there is". "Then start the treatment immediately," said an eager Sachin, "I will get the board to sanction the medical bill." "Colonial hangover, as the name suggests," said the Irish psychiatrist, " are behavioural patterns which are a leftover from the times Britain ruled the colonies". "Is this a history class, or cure session?" asked Sachin irritably.

"We can well imagine your impatience," said the Irishman with a smile. "But we need you to understand your disease before we start the treatment." "Okay," said a mollified Sachin. "So what should I do first to cure myself.?" "Be yourself," said the Welshman.

"But I am myself," said a bewildered Sachin.

" Then why are you following the Englishman's way of playing the game?" asked the Welshman looking at Sachin with piercing eyes.

"Because I thought that was the only way," replied a much more worried Sachin. "A very bad case of colonial hangover," said the two psychiatrists together as they looked at each other sadly.

"What do you want me to do?" asked a puzzled Sachin.

"Assert yourself," said the Irishman. "Don't follow what the British taught you."

"Change the rules," said the Welsh doctor "Make your own ones".

"Let LBW, be equal to four runs," "And being bowled, a sixer." "Stop hitting centuries for British sahibs entertainment." "Let them travel to India if they want to see one." "Will all this cure me of my hangover?", asked a subdued Sachin "Your colonial hangover," smiled the Irish psychiatrist. "Of course it will,".

"Send the bill to the board," said a new confident Sachin as he walked away from the restaurant near Buckingham palace.

"How did you guys manage that?" asked Nassar Hussain, peeling out a few notes and paying it to the two phony psychiatrists, just as Sachin walked back to the Lords pavilion, clean bowled..

"Howzatt?," shouted Sachin as he waved to his new friends. "a few matches more, and I'll be rid of my colonial hangover forever..!"

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