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by Lionel Wijesiri

Because tomorrow belongs to the youth, the future of any nation is determined by the quality of its young people; and this in its turn is profoundly influenced by their upbringing. For us in Sri Lanka, this has become a matter of supreme importance. 25 per cent of our population are 13 years and below while another 12 per cent are between 14 and 18 years. In the effort we must now make to surmount our difficulties both present and to come, national survival - not only in the military but also in the economic sense - may well turn upon the right handling of the rising generation.

How can we, as parents, foster moral behaviour in our children?

Models

First of all, as parents we must be the models of the moral behaviour we wish to encourage. Children learn first and foremost from the example set for them by adults significant in their life. Adolescents, especially, are likely to dismiss our pleadings for moral behaviour unless our 'walk' is consistent with our 'talk'. We are unlikely to persuade our kids to be honest if they hear us lying to the boss on the phone.

Our actions send a powerful message to our children about what we think is important. Our willingness to help neighbours can teach our children how to be helpful. Our willingness to participate in temple, church or community efforts to make the community a better place can teach our children how to be involved. Our willingness to apologise when we make mistakes can teach our children how to solve problems and work well with other people.

When parents actively seek ways to help other people, their children are likely to learn a powerful lesson. We may choose to share our resources with our neighbours. We may visit and talk with people who are lonely. We may offer a 'lift' to a neighbour who has no car. We might volunteer to help at school. We can all find ways to use our talents and resources to make life a little better for others.

There is always a danger that people may be so anxious to help that they become unwise. It is not good to neglect good sense in our effort to help others. And it is not wise to try to help in ways that do not fit our resources. But our willingness to try to be helpful with others can make a very big difference for children who are learning about how people relate to other people.

Standards

We must also set and enforce standards for moral behaviour. The standards we set may be based on tradition, culture, religious beliefs or some combination. Regardless of its source, a standard is a measure by which we judge our actions.

Standards can help young people make decisions about moral behaviour long before the situation presents itself. Standards for moral behaviour may address things like personal responsibility, sexual behaviour, drug and alcohol use, honesty, integrity, work, respect for others, fairness and many other things.

"Be honest in all you say and do" is an example of a standard. "Keep your eyes on your own paper during school exams" is an example of a specific action that meets the standard.

Standards help a child resist temptation. For example, religious commitment is a factor in reducing undesirable behaviour among adolescents, such as drug use and delinquency. Parental enforcement of standards likewise makes a difference. For instance, adolescents who are drug free are much more likely to have parents who strictly enforce rules about drugs and other behaviour.

We must use reasoning, not force, to encourage compliance. We want to gain our children's voluntary compliance with moral standards and avoid a contest of wills. Giving reasons and explanations for expected behaviour, appealing to a child's pride and desire to be grown up and explaining the consequences of behaviour for themselves and others, can help parents achieve this goal.

Media

The modern Sri Lankan child is subjected to the influence of the commercial world through many media - newspapers, magazines, advertisement hoardings, the radio, cinema and television. It invades and permeates his home; it surrounds the city child in the street; it haunts him even at the bus and train, where he will learn that for the culture and civilisation to which he is heir, the control of feminine contours is a matter of major concern.

Newspapers and magazines for adults are readily seen and often read by children. In some of them there is a tendency to give prominence only to what is unusual and to exaggerate it into the sensational. The accent is on crime, violence, sex and immorality. The criminal aberrations of some hapless half-wit command banner headlines on the front page, while happenings of national or even international significance are disposed of in a couple of paragraphs obscurely buried in the body of the paper. This gross distortion of values cannot fail to influence for the worse the ideas forming in the mind of the growing child.

In the long run, the surest way of combating this particular evil is by education of public taste and the raising of Media standards. Home and school have a responsibility to advise children in their choice of reading and viewing and so to train them that they will choose well. It is to be hoped that, rejecting sensationalism as a policy, the Media themselves will play a positive role in improving public taste.

In regard to books, the Public Libraries should try to make better provision for adolescents. All of them, of course, cater for adults and many have built up excellent libraries for young children; but between the two there is often a gap because no serious attempt has yet been made to differentiate between the needs of young children and adolescents.

In recent years there has been a tendency to denounce the cinema as a bad influence on children. In so far as films are harmful to children, their influence is probably insidious rather as obvious; the real effect is not so much that of the X film as of the persistent affirmation of vulgarity and violence. If more were done to educate the young to be critical and selective in their approach to cinema, they might spend fewer, but more profitable hours there.

The making of films specifically for children should be encouraged. Many of those made in the past have been highly successful; but for want of funds not enough of them are made; and money invested in them would be well spent.

Radio and television in Sri Lanka have hitherto maintained a good standard. But some programmes, particularly, on television such as third-rate Hindi films are unsuitable for children because of the violence depicted. This is a matter, which can best be tackled at home by the family itself.

Radio and television make their mark on the child when he is at home. But, for the city child there are other agencies at work in the street. It is there the child will find the amusement arcades, the fun fairs, video parlours and "turf accountants" into which he can wander at will. It is believed that much could be done to mitigate the troubles, which arise because so many children are left at a loose end, by introducing a policy with regard to leisure-time facilities for children. The examples of the kind of facilities which were needed are junior clubs, play centres, junk playgrounds etc,; it also can be suggested that concerts, plays and exhibitions for children out of school hours might be organised by the local authorities.

The decline in religious belief and observance and the rejection of the disciplines, it is said, has profoundly influenced our society in the past few decades. Above all, the diminishing acknowledgement of religious sanctions has resulted in a lack of spiritual conviction and determination in grown men and women to supply what is needed for our children.

The present situation demands that clergy, teachers and parents make a conscious effort to come together in firm partnership. We should make further studies of what could be achieved within the present law towards the integration of religion with the life lived at home and at school. In this process of integration leisure-time organisations may be able to play a useful part. Through their influence and activities young people can be given an appreciation of moral standards based on religion and so be helped to gain a sense of security in a changing world. In this matter of leisure-time activities we should place much value on the great efforts of many religious organisations to provide a wide range of social, cultural and recreational activities under their leadership. But in some areas these societies are at a disadvantage because they receive little help from the public purse.

Responsibility

Young people's passion for modernity must be met and the sense of challenge and gaiety must not be lost. To succeed with young people, demands must be made that require of them effort, self-sacrifice and a spirit of adventure; but, above all, the essentials of the religious faith must be put before them with authority and conviction.

Children, we are told, are often pagans; their behaviour is dictated by the standards of the community, tempered by expediency. However, as a rule, they are open-minded pagans prepared to be interested in religion suitably presented; and even the toughest is conscious of a need for some spiritual background. Undoubtedly there are many young people today groping for help and guidance in matters of conduct, and there is a large sampling of religious bodies. This offers them a challenge and opportunity.

The evidence has shown that at the source of a child's trouble has lain the inability or failure of an adult to do his or her duty by the child at some critical moment. It has shown that the basic forces behind the good influences on children are, now as always, first and foremost, the personal love and interest which has its roots in home and family and, after these, that sense of professional integrity which distinguishes the work of so many teachers, youth leaders and social workers. It has shown, too, how often the driving force behind the bad or dubious influences is money-making; and while love may lapse and conscience slumber, the itch to get money operates all round the clock.

We are conscious of living under perpetual menace - ranging from terrorist attacks to that of inflation in our domestic economy. It is a climate unfavourable for taking the long view, yet at the same time it inspires a craving for security. But this climate is not an accident. It is the direct outcome of values to which we of the older generations have become conditioned and are now passing on. For society is what we are - and reflected in its values, we may see our own true image. If for a moment we pause to scrutinise that image more intently, we may well conclude that the adverse influences on young people are so clearly a part of some social malady that it will avail us nothing to treat them in isolation. We are still accountable for the influences, good, bad and indifferent, which mould the characters of those who come after us. If we are to discharge that responsibility, we must first understand and then accept it. 

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