Ethical values in a changing village - part 2

Continued from yesterday

We reproduce the D. A. Rajapaksa Commemorative Oration delivered by Deshamanya J. B. Disanayaka Professor Emeritus, University of Colombo, on November 24, at the BMICH.

It was also considered a breach of etiquette to retort, in public, to a remark made by the husband. The Sinhala term for such a retort is: "ekata eka kiyanava" (literally, to say one to one).

She will remain silent for the time being but will respond to him later. They will not get entangled into an argument in public.

Respect for the husband was also shown in forms of physical behaviour. The wife always sat on a chair that is, in height, lower than the other chairs in the house. Martin Wickramasinghe says in his biography Upan Da Sita' that his mother sat on a short chair ('Miti asunak") in the presence of his father.

"As soon as my mother sees my father returning home after journey, she would get up not only from her tall chair but also from her short chair" (p9).

At the dining table, the husband was served first and he was served a little more than the others with the comment "hamba karana manussya ne" (After all, he is the bread winner, isn't he?.

The mother sat for her meal only after making sure that the others have enjoyed their meals. She was the last to go to bed and the first to wake up in the morning.

Today, most of these customs have disappeared in the face of westernisation. Modern wives call their husbands by name.

They sit on chairs of the same height and enjoy the meals at the same time. But what really matters is not whether the wife and the husband call each other by their personal names or whether they sit on equal level, but whether they still have love and respect for each other.

In the traditional family, the ties between parents and children were strong, expressing mutual love and respect. Children never used the name of their parents to address them.

They did not even use the second person pronoun, meaning 'you', to address the parents. For the Sinhala villager thought that parents are above pronominal reference.

In English, it is not grammatically possible to construct a sentence to talk to someone, let alone parents, without using the second person pronoun 'you'. English will use sentences such as "How are you, daddy?" "Mummy, where are you going?" "What did you bring, Mumma?" with the word 'you' as an integral grammatical element.

In Sinhala, the same questions can be asked without the use of any second person pronoun: "kohomada tatte?" (How father?) "Koheda amma yanne?" (Where is mother going") "Monavada amma genave?" (What did mother bring?) where the pronoun is replaced by a noun denoting father or mother. This is to say that parents are above pronominal reference.

On the other hand, parents too did not call their children by their names. Instead words denoting kinship were used, as a mark of love. Thus a son was called 'loku puta' (elder son) 'podi puta' (younger son) 'maddumaya' (the middle one) and so on, and a daughter was called 'loku duva' (elder daughter) 'podi duva' (younger daughter) 'bala duva' (younger daughter) 'sudu duva' (fair daughter) and so on.

Of the parents, the mother still earns more love and respect. This gives the word "amma" (mother) another meaning. It means 'beloved' or 'darling'. When a baby falls, the mother rushes and lifts the baby inquiring "mage ammata ridunada?" meaning, literally, 'Did it hurt my mother?' but meaning, idiomatically, 'Did it hurt you my darling?'

Similarly, when a daughter worships her parents, they bless her by saying "mage ammata deyyange pihitay" which means, literally, 'May gods bless my mother' but, idiomatically, 'May gods bless my darling.'

To show the love and respect children have for their parents, they observe certain patterns of behaviour. Children do not sit on chairs on par with parents. If they are already seated they stand up at the sight of their parents.

The parents rarely expressed their love for children by physical behaviour in public. They never kissed their children in public.

If they wanted to show their love physically, they kissed their foreheads and even that in the privacy of a room, away from the public eye. Says Martin Wickramasinghe, "Parents kissed the faces of their sons and daughters within the confines of the room." (Upan Da Sita, p.9)

Worshipping parents at their feet was another custom to show their love and respect. They did so on different occasions: everyday, when children leave their home for school or on a long journey, when they go to bed, and once a year at the Sinhala New Year in April, when they want their parents to forgive them for any misunderstandings in the Old Year and to give them their blessings for the New Year.

The relationship between siblings in the traditional family was again one of love and respect. Siblings rarely used personal names to address each other. Kinship terms were used in place of names. If there were two elder brothers, the elder one was called 'loku aiya' (the older of the elder brothers) and the younger one 'punchi aiya'.

If there were two elder sisters, the elder one was called 'loku akka' (the older of the elder sisters) and the younger one 'punchi akka'. To show more respect and endearment, the elder brother was called 'ayyandi' and the elder sister 'akkandi'.

If there were more than two siblings, they were differentiated by the use of adjectives of colour and shape such as 'sudu' (fair) 'kalu' (dark) 'hin' (slender) and so on.

Younger siblings were also addressed by their kinship terms: loku malli' (the older of the younger brothers) 'loku nangi' (the older of the younger sisters) and so on. In sinhala folk idiom, the younger brother is also called 'malaya' and malayandi', and the younger sister 'naga'.

Today, elder brothers and elder sisters tend to use personal names to address their younger siblings, but the custom of using kinship terms is not dead. It has given rise to a new trend, which is now seen in public schools, not only in the villages but also in the cities.

Senior students are called 'aiya' (elder brothers) or 'akka' (elder sister) and younger ones are called 'malli' (younger brother) and 'nangi' (younger sister). This new trend can be seen even among artistes, particularly, among young singers and dancers.

The Sinhala villager had a great deal of love and respect for his relatives. They fall into two main groups: 'langa naeyo' (close relatives) and 'dura naeyo' (distant relatives).

For all important events in the lifecycle, such as the initiating of the child into the alphabet, the coming of age of a girl, the marriage ceremony and the funeral, close relatives are invited to attend them. The invitation that goes to a close relative is accompanied by a handful of betel leaves.

Finally, fellow villagers also shared this love and respect. Villages which depended on agriculture had evolved a system of customs that show their concern for others.

In these dealings, money did not matter at all as they do now. They worked not for money but for the love and respect they had for other fellow beings. How did this system work?

There were at least five different ways of helping others in the traditional agrarian village. The first and foremost custom was that known as 'attama' which involved an exchange of human labour.

In this system, say, the farmer known as Siripala worked in Gunapala's field and in return Gunapala worked in Siripala's field. No money was exchanged.

The team of farmers who got together to work on the basis of 'attama' were collectively called 'kayya' and in certain regions. Only relatives constituted this team.

The second custom was one which involved the offering of 'bulat', betel leaves. Attama, as noted earlier, involved an exchange of labour, but if one farmer of the kayya' fell critically sick, he cannot take part in this exchange and who will work his field?

In such an event, it is the custom for the wife of the farmer who is sick in bed to go to a 'kayya' with a handful of betel leaves and offer it to the leader of the team and make a request from him to help her husband in this hour of need.

The leader of the team accepts this handful of betel and offers a leaf each to all the members of his team and seek their cooperation to work in the field of their fellow villager. In Sinhala folk idiom, this custom is known as 'working for betel' (bulatata).

The third custom involves an exchange of food and labour. In folk idiom, the meal that is served in the paddy field for farmers is known as 'muttettuva'.

A farmer who is an officer does not have the time to work in another's field for 'attama' but he can afford to offer a good meal, muttettuva, for those who work in his field. This custom thus came to be known as 'working for meals' (muttettuvata).

The fourth custom involves an exchange of services and labour. A farmer may not be able to take part in an 'attama' because he is otherwise busy, for instance, as a blacksmith in the village smithy.

Instead of working in the paddy field, the blacksmith will offer his services, known in Sinhala folk idiom as 'peruva', to make or mend the tools used by farmers in agriculture. For his services no money was paid, but his field was looked after by others with care. This customer came to be known as 'working for services' (peruvata).

The fifth custom was considered the most meritorious for it involved the paddy field of the temple. The village temple owned paddy fields gifted to it by the faithful for the sake of merit (pin). Monks cannot work but their fields had to be worked.

Thus villagers got together and worked the fields of the temple in order to acquire merit. Hence this custom came to be known as 'working for merit' (pinata).

The acquisition of merit, not money, was the most important factor that inspired villagers to engaged themselves in community activities. If the village needed a road, they constructed it as a community venture contributing free labour, and thus this road was called 'pin para' (merit-road). Foot-bridges (e-dandu) were placed across streams to help travellers to cross waterways safely.

To help the weary traveller to rest or spend the night, wayside rest houses known as ambalam were built. At its entrance was placed an earthen pot containing drinking water for travellers and on it was written 'pin paen taliya'(merit water pot).

Buddhist monks encouraged villagers to do such community work, free of charge, by telling them that such meritorious activities will enable them to see the Future Buddha, Maitreya. The word 'shramadana' covers this kind of communal activity today.

The native physician veda mahattaya,. was another important member of the traditional village whose relationships with the patient was one of love, care and concern. His only interest was to cure his patient at whatever cost.

He did not charge any fee (gastu) for being consulted but sometimes he was offered some money for the medicines that were given. This money was called 'panduru' (gift), a word that also covers the gift of money given to gods.

The government had, until recently, set up pharmacies to give native medicines (behet) to the poor free of charge. Such a pharmacy was a 'pin behet salava' (free medicine hall).

The Sinhala villager held the view that money isn't everything. Robert Knox, the Englishman who lived among the Kandyan villagers in the seventeenth century, said "Riches are not here valued, nor make any the more honourable".

However, money has now gained a new status and has produced a new class of people, the New Rich, whose main concern is to earn more money and make more profits.

The Sinhala village was controlled by a hierarchy of officials who were ultimately responsible to the king who owned all the land. He was powerful but he had to exercise this power within certain constraints, to gain the trust of his people that he was righteous (dharmika).

The righteous king was the ideal king of the Buddhists. He was governed by a code of ten ethical principles known as 'dasa raja dharma' (ten royal principles)

The main aim of these ten principles is to place the welfare of people above that of the king. The ten principles are (1) generosity in giving (2) morality (3) self-sacrifice or unselfishness (4) honesty (5) gentleness (6) not being given to luxurious living (7) self-restraint (8) non-anger (9) non-violence and (10) patience and agreeability.

Ven. Piyadassi Thera, commenting on the last principle of 'agreeability' says: Special emphasis should be laid on the word 'Agreeability' for that indicates that the king must respect the wishes of the people.

As the Buddha points out, it is the ruler who should first establish himself in Dhamma, in piety and righteousness, avoiding the vices, and so give the lead to his subjects" (The Spectrum of Buddhism, p 409)

Kings are no more, but the ten principles of good governance are meaningful even today when principles of democracy are valued. In the modern world, politicians have taken the place of the king and his men.

Rulers, some one has remarked, are of two kinds: politicians and statesmen. While the politician is concerned about the next election, the statesman is concerned about the next generation.

The statesman is the ideal ruler whose interests are above himself and his kith and kin. He has the welfare of his people in mind.

It is this need to work for the betterment of his people that makes it obligatory for the President of this country and his ministers to visit the Temple of the Sacred Tooth in Kandy immediately after assuming office to pay their homage to the Sacred Tooth that symbolizes the Buddha to make a pledge before Him that they will govern this nation righteously, so that it will rain in due season" devo vassatu kalena..

The Buddha's advice to his first set of monks emphasizes in no uncertain terms the need to work for the welfare and the happiness of the many: bahujana hitaya, bahujana sukhaya".

This principle ought to be the guiding motto of our Parliament, where men and women of power assemble to determine the future of our next generation who will move from the Traditional Village to the Global Village.