HARRY POTTER COLUMNIST
OF THE YEAR
Regime change fanatics
-- at least of the female variety -- had been referred to in
these spaces as banshees, and there is no apology for that
description; in terms of the volume of noise generated, and in
terms of the high pitched sounds made, ‘banshee’ has to be about
accurate. But yet, recently, a reader of this newspaper asked
one of our staffers whether the banshee terminology was reserved
for a particular lady -- a former President, a ‘Bandaranaike’,
and therefore a ‘banshee?’
Our staffer’s answer was in the negative, but he did add that
if the cap fits, anybody is free to put it on, including a
former President.
However, there was the qualifier that went with this – if Ms.
Bandaranaike Kumaratunga wanted to call herself a banshee, she
would have to call herself the Head Banshee. ‘The Head Girl is
the Head Girl’, they used to insist, apparently at St. Bridget’s
…
This leading article seeks to place in focus some of the
banshee cries uttered by the lesser members of the tribe,
however. Recently, one scribbler answering to that description
had penned an article that appeared in those banshee-specialist
websites.
The Halal issue was abruptly sponsored by the Rajapaksas,
this writer states -- and equally abruptly dropped by them.
This is queer deduction, as the Halal issue was never
‘dropped’, it was resolved before it went off the national media
radar. All parties agreed that the Halal logo in food items was
an excess, considering that the Muslims have been eating Halal
food for generations anyway, and that those of other religions
do not have to pick up the tab for the unnecessary costs
involved in labeling anything and everything including a bottle
of potable water ‘Halal.’
Do not let the facts get in the way of an argument -- well,
this is the banshee invocation, and therefore none of this stops
the person who advances this critique from stating that Halal
was a racist campaign ‘sponsored by the Rajapaksas, which others
followed.’ With no substantiating evidence proferred, this is
Harry Potter story number 1.
But the writer has bested her own previous work this time
(Harry Potter 2) by taking the recent issue of milk and the
possible contamination of milk products and tying it to some
sinister plan that she sees as being possible, even though she
does not adduce an infinitesimal jot of evidence to substantiate
her startlingly extraordinary claim.
The central thesis goes something like this – the regime is
in the habit of unleashing various issues abruptly in order to
scare the minorities, bash the enemies, and keep the
constituency pleased. At least that’s the translation from the
banshee language which one needs to be a card carrying member of
the B.C (Banshee Coterie) to fully comprehend.
As for the milk issue – people were warned, says the critic,
about contaminated milk, but there was an abrupt volte face, and
now the authorities say that milk is safe for consumption. This
is seen as subterfuge, and foul-play of the worst order. Certain
milk producers she says were targeted. Why, it is asked,
couldn’t the authorities have conducted the tests, before
sounding the alarm?
Yes, and exposed thousands of citizens to possible
contamination? Scientific testing takes times, it’s not quite as
easy as churning out transcripts out of deafening banshee cries.
It is regular practice to, with an abundance of caution, advice
citizens against buying a possibly contaminated consumer item,
before a final laboratory determination is made. What’s regular
administrative practice, has been made into a story full of
cloaks and dangers, hobgoblins and stealth operators. It must be
taking a specially spooky mindset to wake up one morning and
think of things such as this – that the ‘Rajapaksas’ thought of
a milk scare, for various racially motivated reasons!
For trying to make a Harry Potter story out of nothing, these
people deserve the year’s special fiction potboiler Medal of
Honour. However, once the award is given, never mind the
scientific testing – a psychiatric evaluation is a must to go
with the territory. Potter or no Potter, there is a special
place for the paranoid, the regularly deluded, and the
unstoppably hysterical … |