Kids need a dignified mother, not a society woman

Lauren Booth, broadcaster and journalist, is former British Prime Minister Tony Blair’s sister-in-law, who converted to Islam in 2010. Here below is her journey to Islam and the heart-warming reaction of her family in this translated version of a recent interview:

I thank Allah for giving me the chance to spend a month with the greatest Muslims alive in this Ummah today.

At the end of Ramadan, I went to a family home in Rafa one of the poorest refugee camps in the poorest areas, of the over populated city in the entire world. I had iftar with a family there who had about 16 mats, which were used at night to sleep on. In the middle of this tent area the mother places the meal if she has any for her children to eat.

This lady greeted me at the door and it was as if she was welcoming me to the Taj Mahal not a hellhole in the Gaza strip. ”Sallam alaykum”, she says with a smile that lights up the whole area. I asked her, “What is it like in Rafa at Ramadan with very little food?” She said: ‘Alhamdulillah!’ with such joy I couldn’t help but smile. And as I sat there on the floor of this home eating what little leaves that they had; a bit of hummus, a pita bread that was our Iftar.

I got angry … really angry! I thought what is this God that makes hungry people even hungrier? What is this God Who creates a fast for the poorest of the oppressed people in the world. So, I turned to this sister and I said: “With all due respect I want to ask you, why does your God starve you in Ramadan? Why do you fast in Ramadan...sister, just explain to me?” This lady who never owned a handbag, whose children didn’t have, never had shoes. Whose children I was sitting with didn’t have pen or paper to do any drawings, she said to me: “Sister we fast in Ramadan to remember the poor.” And a key went to my heart and unlocked it.

But of course Islam wasn’t for me that was for somebody else so I put the thought of how great Islam was to one side and said so what I like the Palestinian people but it has nothing to do with Islam.

Then last year in Ramadan again I went to Iran as a journalist and I visited a mosque there, it’s the Bibi Fatima Mosque and I made wadu because I knew how to do it and I put on a shadur and I made a simple prayer: Allah … and I used the word Allah. “Allah, don’t give me anything. I have everything. Thank you for this journey, but Allah, don’t forget the people of Palestine.”

Then I sat down in this busy mosque with women feeding their children, pilgrims coming and going; but when I sat down, this immense feeling of peace came over me. Peace and tranquility that I never knew before, such a calm that the tension in my heart went.

There was no sound in my head for the first time in my life as an adult … just deep, deep joy and calm. I sat there for a long time in this place of calm knowing that somewhere in the universe everything is like this. Over the course of that evening women kept coming over to me holding me by the shoulders and saying: “I love you.”

At one point a child came over and held my hand and just said in Farsi (Persian): “I love you.” I said to my friend Nadia, “Is this what it is like in the mosque?” She said, “Not really. I think something is happening.”

I slept that night on the floor of the mosque with a lot of other pilgrims and the next morning, Fajr sounded and I was inside the mosque and I prayed Fajr.

Then I came outside and had a cup of chai and the sun was coming up and I had one very specific thought. “O, no... not Islam, please not Islam.”

I just want to say that a couple of strange things happened to me after that. I took the plane back to London from Tehran.

As the plane was coming into London the pilot said: “Thank you for flying Tehran airways we’ll be in London in 20 minutes.”

And at that point every Iranian Muslim woman took off the hijab and made out like she was from Sex in the City . I thought great. Thank goodness, my hands wouldn’t take off the hijab.

My hands wouldn’t take off the hijab and I thought I was having a nervous break down. Seven days later I said my Shahada in a London mosque and it was time for me to return to the Qur’an. This time I opened the Qur’an, and Surah Al-Fatiha (the opening chapter) look like saying to me: ‘Hello Sarah where have you been, welcome to the religion of peace, joy and tranquility,’ and I couldn’t put it down. Someone once told me — and I feel much like that before Islam — I had given up on God but God never gave up on me. Alhamdulillah. The question everyone wants to know is how did your family or children react.

My two daughters who are very practical and are aged 8 and 10.

They came to me with three questions:

Mummy when you’re a Muslim will you still be mummy?

I said: When I am a Muslim you know what, I will be a better mummy, they said, “Horrayyy!”

Mummy will you drink alcohol?

When I am a Muslim I will never drink alcohol again and they said “Horrayyy!”

When you’re a Muslim will you show your chest?

I said why would you ask such a question? They said when you come to the school and your chest is showing we are embarrassed and we hate it and we want you to stop it. When I am a Muslim I will cover all this area and to which they said: “We love Islam.” It was that easy. When you look at those 3 questions the basic female womanhood is summarized in those 3 questions from the purity of children.

Question no. 1. Will you be the center of our household? Can we rely on you as a mother to be there for us rather than putting your work, your colleagues/friendships or the bar in front of us?

Question no. 2. Will you remain in the limits that Allah has described for all of us in behavior?

Question no. 3. Will you be a modest dignified woman in Islam?

Alhamdulillah that is all I have to say. What I have learnt this year in being a Muslim is this, when you have problems don’t tell to your friends or family ...if you can read the Qur’an every night or read 10 min. everyday your Imaan is much, much higher.

If you live in a non-Muslim country those of us who do it can go very low very quickly, you must read the Qur’an.

If those who are not on the path of Islam if they come to Islam like me; or, if you’re a Muslim ... you are on the path as well, so make sure that you don’t miss those signs in everyday life. All praise is to Allah (Almighty)

Thoughts on Modesty

Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood

“Every religion has its characteristic, and the characteristic of Islam is modesty.”

This statement made some 1400 years ago by the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is just as relevant today as it was then.

The Prophet lived in turbulent times, when slavery, debauchery, drunkenness and sexual abuse was rife; when poor women could be maltreated without redress and wealthy women could live totally without morals if they wished, without much criticism.

When the Prophet was a teenage boy he was one of the founder members of a society of “Knights of Justice” created by his uncle, determined to bring protection and fair dealing to the weak and insecure. He, and those of like mind, were loved and admired for their nobility, years before the revelation of Islam. The revelations, when they came, encouraged and exhorted them to show others that compassion, generosity, courage, modesty and patient faith were the right way to live.

Modesty is such a ‘quiet’ characteristic, that perhaps nobody thinks about it very much.

Modesty is such a ‘quiet’ characteristic, that perhaps nobody thinks about it very much. What are modest people like? They are self-effacing, and humble; they do not wish to draw too much attention to themselves. They feel embarrassed when they are given praise, and genuinely do not really feel they have done all that much to deserve it, for everything they do is no more than their duty and their delight, in serving God. They would hate to be picked out for praise above their fellows, or pushed forward into the limelight, shown off, or made to perform ‘party pieces’ for the applause of others.

Modesty also implies a personal and physical shyness and reticence, as opposed to a wish to flaunt themselves for their physical charms. In this day and age, when it seems to be taken for granted that young women wish to walk down the streets of town wearing garments that cover little more than their underwear does, and when everything seems geared up to a lifestyle that encourages females to make themselves as sexually attractive as possible, and to feel failures if they are not turning heads, women who are not like that, and do not wish to be, are regarded by some as being rather odd.

It is an unfortunate sort of discrimination, for in actual fact very large numbers of girls and women are naturally modest, and do not wish to flaunt themselves at all, and feel no sense of distress or loss if they are not arousing male desires or interested glances.

Wearing hijab, or becoming a ‘covered lady’, is one of the odd problems facing girls and women who convert to Islam and who then decide to alter their style of clothing, and/or wear a head-veil.

Ironically, genuinely shy and modest women can feel really uneasy and ‘forced into the arena of public scrutiny’ when they change old habits; putting on hijab can cause people who know you to stare, or wonder why you suddenly think yourself to be ‘better’ or ‘more holy’ than them, or to bring out remarks about how well they know what you are really like; or to wonder why you are seeking to ‘dress up in fancy dress’, or pretending to be an Arab or a Pakistani or whatever. Muslim women who take the further step of covering their faces often face a similar reaction from Muslim women who don’t.

Modest behavior implies the genuine desire to do good for no reason other than to please Allah, seeking no reward, or thanks, or public notice.

This is not something that male Muslims know very much about. There is no equivalent requirement for a man as regards his clothing, or head-covering, or face-covering.

I suppose something similar would be for a convert man to feel it was a good thing required by Allah to turn up at the office or go to the garage or factory in an Arab long white dress, and put a bag over his head.

Yet there are rules in Islam for male modesty.

I have winced in horror on a plane coming home from Damascus in which all the male passengers were Muslims, except a couple of western tourists, who wore shirts open to the waist (sweat, chest-hair and all), and shorts, and were quite oblivious to (or not bothered by) the reaction of distaste from those all around them. In fact, male Muslims are also expected to dress modestly, in clean clothing that covers them and does not emphasize their sexuality.

Cover-up clothing

Needless to say, it is not only modest clothing that is required, but also modest behavior-not the Dickensian Uriah-Heepish sort of crawling humility-but the genuine desire to do good for no reason other than to please Allah, seeking no reward, or thanks, or public notice.

The cover-up clothing of Muslim women is not intended as a punishment or an endurance test, but as a wish to appear graceful and feminine without encouraging any sexual advances.

‘Covered ladies’ are not necessarily innocent youngsters, virgins about to be sacrificed in marriage, but may be mothers of half a dozen children, perhaps married several times. Modesty also implies simplicity, and lack of desire for ostentation.

There is no false modesty intended. But they are giving certain specific messages: firstly, that their faith is Islam and they have chosen to submit to the will of God in every aspect of their lives; and secondly, that they wish to be appreciated for their characters and good deeds, and not for whether or not they happen to be pretty or slim or sexy.

To be continued

A role model par excellence:

Holy Prophet of Islam (OWBP)

Meeladun Nabi this year falls during January, corresponding with Rabiul Awwal, the fourth month of the Islamic calender, which is of great significance to the Muslims, as it refers to the Birth of their Beloved Prophet Muhammed (On Whom Be Peace – OWBP).

Muslims from all walks of life and from all corners of the world, young and old, educated and uneducated, rich and poor, divided by geography, race and language are all united in their reverence and devotion to Him.

His life was a life fully lived, standing out as a role model in all aspects of life whether religious or secular. Whatever aspect of life we look at or whichever dimension of the life of the Holy Prophet (OWBP) we try to explore, we find strength and nobility of character and serenity or inner-calm, which comes with communion with God in the fullest sense. His nobility, generosity and magnanimity, shows itself most of all in charity and kindness to all men and more generally to all beings.

There was no narrowness or pettiness in the soul of the Holy Prophet (OWBP) and no limitation in giving of Himself to others. His blessed life is full of examples that have kept generations of Muslims and Mankind inspired.

Muhammad (OWBP) was born in 570 AD to a noble family of Makkah, and was a descendant of the patriarch Prophet Abraham (AS). Orphaned at six, He was a thoughtful youth who worked as a shepherd and helped His uncle with the trade caravans.

As a teenager He rejected the immoral customs of His people, who had become steeped in idolatry and joined a chivalrous order, earning the titles ‘The Trustworthy’ and ‘Truthful’. At age 25, He found employment with a wealthy widow of 40 named Khadijah, managing her business.

Impressed by His honesty and character, Khadijah proposed marriage and He accepted. Despite their age difference, they were happily married for 25 years, and were blessed with six children.

After Khadijah’s death He married several women for political and humanitarian reasons, as was expected of a man of his position; all but one were widows and divorcees. He was a loving and considerate husband and father, and His family was devoted to Him despite His voluntary poverty, for He put into practice His own advice, ‘the best of you is the one who is best to his own family.’

Muhammed (OWBP) received his first revelation from God at 40, through the Angel Gabriel. He continued to receive revelations for 23 years, on topics ranging from the Oneness of God and His wondrous handiwork, to stories of earlier prophets, morality and ethics and life after death. These revelations became collectively known as the Quran, and are considered by Muslims to be the literal word of God, the Prophet (OWBP)’s own words were collected separately.

His call to monotheism and social reform was heavily opposed by the Makkan elite, after enduring 13 years of intense persecution, He and His followers were invited to relocate to Madinah, a town to the north that had been torn apart by generations of intertribal warfare.

This last Messenger of God (OWBP) successfully settled their differences and forged a bond of brotherhood between the two warring factions, as well as between the locals and the new emigrants. For Arab tribal society, this was an amazing accomplishment.

The early Muslims learned to implement the golden rule under his tutelage: ‘No one truly believes until he desires for his brother what he desires for himself.’ Further, the tolerance he displayed and the mercy he offered even to the worst of enemies, for example at the Victory of Makkah, were legendary.

For Muhammad (OWBP) religion was not a matter of personal conviction alone but a complete way of life and Madinah flourished under His leadership. The ‘Madinan’ model of government, based on justice, respect for human dignity and God-consciousness, became the template to which Muslims have looked for guidance and inspiration ever since.

He drew up the world’s first constitution in which the rights of religious minorities were protected, and entered into treaties and alliances with neighbouring tribes. He sent letters to the rulers of the Persians, Egyptians, Abyassinians and Byzantines, announcing His message of pure monotheism and inviting them to accept Islam.

For the first time in history, women, children, orphans, foreigners and slaves were granted extensive rights and protection. Many of His concerns seem surprisingly ‘modern’: He condemned racism and nationalism, saying ‘there is no superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab or a white man over a black man, except in righteousness.’ He established laws protecting animals, trees and the environment. He encouraged free trade and ethical investments, but secured workers’ rights and forbade usury.

Another landmark of Hoy Prophet (OWBP)’s achievements was that He worked for peace, but also defined the parameters of the judicious use of force as well, when force was needed. He convinced people to give up alcohol, drugs, prostitution and crime and promoted healthy living. He condemned domestic violence, encouraged His wives to speak their own mind, and granted Muslim women many rights not dreamed of in Europe until centuries later, including the right to own property, reject arranged marriages and seek divorce because of incompatibility. And He encouraged His followers to seek beneficial knowledge wherever it could be found, with the result that Muslims never experienced a conflict between science and religion and led the world in many fields of learning for centuries afterwards. Although His enduring legacy can be observed in everything from art to politics, His greatest achievement by far was to re-establish pure monotheism.

To be continued

The Prophet of Islam

Prophet Muhammad (Sal) is a gift to whole of mankind by Almighty Allah to shape and guide the destinies of the people who lived in a barbaric era 1450 years ago.

Born to Abdullah and Amina in Mecca, Muhammad lost his father even before his birth and was rendered an orphan soon after his birth, when his mother Amina passed away.

Then the little son came under the care and guidance of his grandfather, Abdul Muthalib who died when Muhammad was eight years – this little Muhammad came under the care of his uncle Abu-Thalib.

Having gone through great deprivation, he had a very virtuous life in the midst of a society that indulged in anti-social activities; this was the period when Women’s Rights were flouted and female infants were killed because they were thought to bring misfortune.

At 40 years Muhammad received the prophecy from Allah through angel Jibril and thereafter he continued to preach the religion of Islam for twenty three years – thirteen years in Mecca and ten years in Medina.

Initially he met with difficulties; he was opposed, insulted and persecuted by his enemies who vehemently citicised and sought to take revenge on him. Prophet Muhammad (Sal) was undaunted and carried his mission of preaching Islam. His advent to the world transformed a

barbaric society to a well mannered civilised society.

At twenty five years, he first married a widow named Kadhija who came to know of his truthfulness, when he worked under her to sell her merchandise, she sent a proposal to him for the marriage. When Prophet Muhammad (Sal) received the first revelation Kadhija was the first lady to embrace Islam and died after twenty five years of married life. Islam spread in Mecca and the persecution against him became intense.

So he fled to Medina with Abubakar, his close companion and the first Kaliph after the prophet’s demise. There is a verse in the Holy Quran which says that Allah and his angels. Salawath in the name of Prophet Muhammad (Sal) and enjoins all the Muslims to recite Salawath and Salam on behalf of the Holy Prophet (Sal), whose life and living style is exemplary to all the people who choose to follow the right path.

Muquaddhamush Shazuli - M Faisal Faleel, JP (All Island)