Wedding customs in ancient Sinhala society

Niluka D Thilakarathne

Wedlock is a divine affair in the whole world. Every culture has beautiful wedlock stories in collaboration with folklore. Among them, "It is similar to a box of rats" says a story in the Sinhala folklore. The rats who are not in the box are trying to enter the box. The rats in the box are trying to get out.

There are unaccepted and accepted marriages and the system of acceptance has been created by the society for its existence. Famous dramas such as Sinhabahu and Oedipus feature examples of unaccepted marriage.

According to the Sinhalese society unaccepted weddings are considered as harmful because social, economic and cultural affairs are gathered around in marriage. Old Sinhala society is a great source where this can be proved.

According to the old Sinhala society what was the accepted marriage? The same cast marriage was considered as highly accepted in the Sinhala society. In that society marriage was prohibited between high and low casts. Many Sinhala folk lyrics show many examples to prove the facts.

Diya kale aran yana kalata lada liyan
Ura deke damathi pallata near giman
Ma kere belu belmata daya giman
Adu kule ipida mokawath beriya bolan

(He was falling in love with a high cast woman but he is unable to do anything about that because of his low cast)

Maha mee kuda mee himaye emata etha
Koi koi malen muth bambarun ron ganitha
Kohomba ruke sevanellath sisila detha
Ruwa ethnam adukule wata kamak netha

(In the jungle, there are so many large and small beehives, and bees collect pollen from every flower. The Maragos tree also gives cooling shade. So if you have the beauty, I don't worry about your low cast) There were five kinds of wedlocks in the ancient Sinhala society according to the folk lyrics.

According to it, same cast marriage was the best in society.

The marriage between the cousins? Siddhartha and Yasodhara also fitted the same relationship. This was an opportunity for their future livelihood, because of a dowry they used to get which bought many things necessary for agricultural purposes.

Nende numbe duwa denawada buk mahata
Kasi mudal netha beno mata denta
Kasi motada gaha kola nam hondai mata
E bawa kiyapan nende mamata

(This is a dialog between a mother who has a daughter of marriageable age and the son of a relative of hers. He asks the mother in law, "Would you give me permission to marry your daughter?" She answers, "Son in law I do not have any money to give you as dowry along with my daughter." Then he replies, "Never mind if you have property that is enough for me, tell my father in law about this.")

Likewise according to the ancient Sinhalese system the cousin sister (who was mother's brother's daughter) was definitely belonged to the cousin brother. It is same in meaning to the poem below. (Rainwater belongs to a river, a stream or ocean. Honey belongs to bees. Toddy belongs to wildcat. Like wise the cousin sister belongs to the cousin brother.)

Wesidiya aithi gan hoo ela samuduratai
Mal peni aithi wata gumudena bambaratai
Mee raa aithi kithule kala weddatai
Nena aithi katada massinatai

If the cousin sister asked betel from her cousin brother that was a hint they will surely get marry. But the mother in law will not agree with this marriage if the cousin suffers from any disease.

Then the cousin sister will get married to an outsider. On that wedding day the cousin brother should give up rights regarding his cousin sister accepting kadulu bulath (groom should give betel to bride's cousin brother when he enters the bride's house.) There was maternal party and paternal party marriage. According to that binna vivahaya belongs to the maternal party. The husband lives in wife's home. She has property rights. But her husband hasn't any right as so. Thus, the wife might try to divorce her husband in any movement. That is why they should be ready to face this situation. In Sinhala there was a famous statement.

(With the order, he should already arrange a walking stick, a Palmyra branch and a torch)

Appage pereththe beruwa nisawata
Binna magulakata baha dee memahata
Appa lesata uni ambuwan edasita
upan gamata yemata den sithe mata

(I have agreed to the binna vivahaya because of my father's beseech. From the day of my marriage, the father's role was to act by my wife. So I felt like going back to my home village.)