Buddhist Spectrum

Confidential are the best kinsmen

Olcott GUNASEKERA

Health is the greatest gain Contentment is the greatest wealth Confidential are the best kinsmen Nibbana is the bliss supreme.

Dhammapada V.204

This is the reply given by the Buddha to King Pasenadi Kosala when the latter asked four questions from the Buddha regarding the greatest gain, the greatest wealth, the best kinsmen and supreme bliss to any human being. In this short article, I shall be discussing the third line of this admonition of the Buddha.

If you so wish, it is possible to divide the world's population to those who are your blood relations or kinsmen and those who are not. In such a classification, the numbers who are your blood relations compared to the rest are very much less. From among the blood relations, count the number whom you associate. Then the number of blood relations becomes still less. There are those who are intimate, those who are not, and there are those whom you even despise. Are the blood relations the best of kinsmen you have?

What was the Buddha's thinking regarding kinsmen or relations? His view was that the best of kinsmen are the confidential or in whom one could place implicit trust or confidence. Such a person will be with you under thick or thin or when faced with any vicissitude in life. Such a person need not be a blood relation, and hence, the classification of the world into those who are one's blood relations and those who are not does not hold ground in determining one's kinsmen.

A question may arise in a person's mind whether a person or persons who are associated with and trusted when engaged in any form of wrong action are the best kinsmen. Take a gang of robbers, or a Mafia of drug peddlers. In performing any wrong action, usually, there are those who are accomplices. They have implicit trust in each other. If not their crimes are known. When the Buddha uttered the words ‘Confidential are the best kinsmen’, this is not what was meant.

Who then are the confidential who will be one's best of kinsmen? There are sixteen qualities a person should develop to become the best of kinsmen or for one to become the best of kinsmen to another. In other words, a person to be trusted, who indeed is the best of kinsmen, should possess these qualities. Hence, one should endeavour to develop these qualities and become the best of kinsmen to others.

The first such quality is not to have evil wishes. The Pali term is papa iccha. Evil wishes towards others are based on greed, hatred and delusion. Because of greed or hatred, a person could go into any depth in trying to possess something or destroy another. A good relationship cannot develop with such evil wishes. The cause for dissension among the closest of relations is such wishes. A confidential will not be praising one's self and disparaging others. Praising oneself and one's deeds whilst disparaging one's relations is a very common defect seen among relations. This is a cause for much dissension especially among blood relations. If one wishes to be the best of kinsmen one should learn to give up the habit of lauding oneself and disparaging others.

It is strange but true that the rate of occurrence of anger is more among relations and associates. This is because the cause of anger arises with whom you associate most. Closer the relationship greater is one's intolerance. His own anger can overpower an angry person. This would blur one's vision making it more difficult to understand the main issues of a problem. Many relationships break because of this phenomenon. A conscious attempt should be made to develop one's patience, a quality that has to be with the best of kinsmen.

Anger also leads to revengefulness. Family feuds due to revengefulness sometime are carried over many generations. If one looks back, the incident that caused revengeful action will be trivial. In fact, one could even laugh at it, if one reflects on that incident. However, there was no control of oneself at that time. One action has led to another and today the relationship is as bitter as ever. Learn to reflect on the cause of anger when one's anger has subsided. This will help to discard the bitterness that it had caused within you. A good deed towards the other will bring back the relationship.

Another quality to develop is not to be stubborn if one wishes to be the best of kinsmen. Stubbornness is a by-product of anger and is your weakness. No one else should be blamed. It is due to a bloated ego. The cause for anger has hurt your ego. Hence, you have become resentful towards your relation and stubborn in your attitude. Be soft towards the other and try to understand your own weakness. It should not be difficult for a person to speak with you.

The words of an angry person are full of anger. This is not a desirable quality of a confidential. In the day to day life of a person, there will be more than one occasion, which will arouse anger. One may even think that what was expected is to be angry and will allow anger to arise, which will burst out in the form of abusive words. How can one place trust in such a person? Such a person cannot be the best of kinsmen because of unpredictability.

Hence, a confidential, who is the best of kinsmen, is a person who keeps his calm, is not revengeful, is very easy to speak with, and whose words are always pleasing to the ear.

A confidential has other qualities as well. There are many instances in life where one is reproved or blamed. Bring to mind a situation where you have given your best, but at the end there is censure and blame.

How did you react? Interestingly your reaction would have been most intense if the person who blamed you was the closest relation. If one is to become the best of kinsmen one should learn to act differently when reproved. This is no easy task.

It could be that the censure was fully justifiable. Even so, the initial reaction w

ould have been to resist. Very rarely will a person admit one's fault and accept the criticism or censure. The first reaction is to resist. This will be followed usually by denigrating the person who censured. This will lead to building up of tension among the parties. Relationships get strained. There will be counter-reprove. Whatever confidence there was gets eroded. There will be hatred, anger and bitterness. The best of kinsmen becomes the worst enemies.

How should a person who is reproved act in order to build confidence? It is neither by resisting or denigrating the other, nor by counter-reprove or show of anger or bitterness. When reproved or blamed one should learn to analyze one's own conduct and account for it. This is again a quality to be developed with diligence. Such a response will help in promoting good relationships, because the conduct of such a person is predictable. Such persons are the best of kinsmen.

Being contemptuous of others and domineering affect human relationships. A person with such a personality is never liked. Such behavioural traits create artificial barriers among persons. A true kinsman will not be contemptuous or domineering. He will praise a person when praise is due. He will not be speaking ill of the other and he will be easy to communicate with. Hs speech will always be truthful and be beneficial to others.

There are few more qualities the Buddha has referred to become a confidential. Such a person will not be envious of others’ welfare and development. He will not be fraudulent and deceitful both in word and in deed. Nor will he be obstinate and arrogant. Being envious of others, being fraudulent and deceitful, and being obstinate and arrogant are sure means to break any relationship. Confidence between or among such persons can never arise.

Persons possessing the qualities mentioned earlier are indeed persons in whom implicit trust could be placed. They will lead a person always on the correct path and will help in resisting evil actions. They indeed are the best of kinsmen.

Benefits of meditation

Dr Padmaka Silva.

We have discussed facts relating to Kilesa Parinibbana Sutta. We have to understand another fact related to that Sutta. Out of the four individuals we spoke about, the third and the forth individuals have attained Jhana Samapatti. Although they have attained Jhana Samapatti do all of them attain Parinibbana in this life itself? No. That means there is a difference there also. They have strong Samadhi. In spite of having strong Samadhi they fail to attain Parinibbana in this life itself.

Whether one can pave the way to Nibbana or not is determined by the Indriya Dhamma.

How is it determined whether we are going to attain Parinibbana in this life or in a future life. Based on what? On the Indriya Dhamma arisen in each individual. If the Indriya Dhamma are strong irrespective of whether there is strong Samadhi or not there is a possibility of attaining Parinibbana in this life itself. If the Indriya Dhamma are weak he does not get a chance to attain Parinibbana in this life whether strong Samadhi is there or not.

Therefore we must be concerned about the Indriya Dhamma. You may have heard or read in the Dhamma that Indriya Dhamma have to be developed equitably. We have to understand that fact also. That is we should understand how Indriya Dhamma have to be developed equitably and what are its benefits.

There is another matter to be mentioned. What do all these four individuals associate in an important manner and with special emphasis? Sekha Dhamma. Although they have the Samadhi they practise the Dhamma while associating with Sekha Dhamma. If we do not practise Sekha Dhamma we cannot attain Nibbana just by practicing meditating. Please keep that clearly in mind.

Sometimes we keep on meditating. But do not practise Sekha Dhamma. Then does he get an opportunity to attain Nibbana? No. Why doesn’t he get an opportunity? Indriya Dhamma have not arisen. Indriya Dhamma do not get developed. Whether the way to Nibbana gets paved does not get determined simply by meditating or attaining a Samadhi. Whether one can pave the way to Nibbana or not is determined by the Indriya Dhamma. On what do Indriya Dhamma arise? On Sekha Dhamma. If one practises Sekha Dhamma, practices continuously, he gets the opportunity to develop the Indriya Dhamma. Therefore if an individual who practises Dhamma and meditation wishes to derive satisfactory results from such practice he must think well and remain while associating well with Sekha Bala in order to develop the Sekha Bala. One does not get an opportunity to develop Indriya Dhamma if he does not develop Sekha Bala. If we do not bear this in mind the path to Nibbana will not get cleared however much we think of meditating or however much we make effort.

If one develops the Sekha Dhamma he will definitely get on to the path to Nibbana. Why? Sekha Bala is the strength required by the individual who practises to get on to the path to Nibbana. Therefore all of us must be willing, and must endeavor to generate the Sekha Bala. Also, we must think of maintaining continuously the Sekha Bala thus generated. The Sekha Bala becomes further improved by meditation.

How should we proceed to practise the Sekha Bala. It has to commence with the association with the worthy friend. One has to live with due respect to the worthy friend. Such a person attends to rites and rituals respectfully and obediently. He attends to the needs of the others. By performing the rites and rituals, by looking after the needs of others he develops the quality of humility. He becomes disciplined. He becomes obedient. Sekha Dhammas Saddha, shame to commit sin, fear to commit sin, endeavor and wisdom arise in him.

Will the Sekha Dhamma thus arisen continue to remain? Will the Sekha Dhamma generated in an individual remain as such? Will it develop effortlessly? No. How does one strengthen the Sekha Dhamma that have arisen? How can they be maintained? For that the association with the worthy friend should be carried out without a break. Respect should be continued. He should be obedient without interruption. Carrying out rites and rituals, attending to the needs of others should be developed further.

Then humility and discipline develop in him. Then the Sekha Dhamma that arose in him develops. Get filled up. When does the complete filling up take place? When Arahantship is attained.

So we can now understand that by the development of Sekha Dhamma, Indriya Dhamma develop. Will the Indriya Dhamma remain when the development of Sekha Dhamma ceases? Indriya Dhamma also cease to develop. It is by the continuous development of Indriya Dhamma that defilements start getting away. If the development of Sekha Dhamma ceases Indriya Dhamma becomes inactive. Indriyas will be there. But they will not be operative.

Then do the defilements get removed? No. The individual gets attached by defilements. He gets very much tormented by defilements. Where did we make the mistake? We got separated from association with worthy friends. How did we get separated? Respectfulness gets lost. Association with worthy friends gets lost because of loss of respectfulness. After that he does not perform rites and rituals. Does not attend to the needs of others. He does not feel like doing so. Then discipline gets reduced. Then the Saddha gets reduced. Shame and fear for sin become absent. Shame and fear are inoperative. As a result endeavor does not arise. States of mind such as sloth and torpor arise. There is no energy to get rid of any defilement that arises. Energy becomes weak. His wisdom gets weakened. The ability to distinguish between sin and merit gets weakened.

Are Indriya Dhammas present now? What happens to Indriya Dhamma when Sekha Dhamma becomes weak? Indriya Dhamma also become weak. When Indriya Dhamma are weak can he annihilate any sin arising in him? He cannot annihilate sin. Then what happens? When a sin arises does it generate happiness or sorrow? It causes extreme suffering. If arising of sins causes suffering, what is the reason?

If extreme suffering is caused to someone due to an unwholesome deed, why does it happen? That unwholesome deed does not get annihilated. It is not possible to get rid of it. Why cannot it be got rid of? He does not practise Indriya Dhamma equitably. Or the Indriya Dhammas are not active in him. They are inoperative.

Why don’t Indriya Dhamma become active? Because Sekha Dhamma are not practised. Sekha Dhammas are inactive. Saddha is weak. Shame and fear for sin is weak. Therefore he has got into weak endeavor. The wisdom of such a person is weak. Why did that happen? Rites, rituals, attending to others do not get carried out. They have been left out. Why? Respectfulness has been lost. Why doesn’t the mind get inclined to respect others?

The idea that ‘respect should come to him’ arises. It is difficult to recognize this.

Then the mind does not get inclined to respect others. Why? It is there that vanity and pride exist. We should act to get rid of that. That is the value of association with worthy friends. That is why we should think of the good qualities of the worthy friend.

That is why we said that we should develop the quality of Sappurisa (worthy man). If the tool that cuts the jungle of defilements is Dhamma meditation, the sharpness of the tool is the quality of Sappurisa. On what does the quality of Sappurisa rest? On gratitude. When we think of gratitude continuously and keep on doing it frequently the Sappurisa quality in our mind develops and flourishes. That is why we stated that Sappurisa quality is the sharpness of the tool that helps in cutting down the jungle of defilements.

When Sappurisa quality is present in the individual he lives with immense respect to the worthy friend. That is why Buddha preached that if one associates with a person with qualities of Sila, Samadhi and Panna higher than what he possesses, then he should associate with the worthy person while paying him due respect. To associate while paying respect in that manner the individual should be very much mindful of the help he receives from the worthy friend. As he keeps on thinking like that the respect develops.

He then tends to attend to the needs of the worthy friend. He does so with great respect. He becomes a disciplined, calm and humble person. In such a person Saddha becomes strong. What always comes to his mind is “Am I not doing what Buddha preached? Am I not carrying out the advice of Buddha?” It echoes in his heart.

What always come to his mind are the virtues of Buddha. Shame and fear for sin are present in such a person. Those qualities develop in him. They become strong. When there is shame and fear endeavor arises. Endeavour becomes strengthened. He detests sin. Endeavour gets generated. The wisdom to distinguish between sin and merit arises. Indriya Dhamma develops in him. They exist without interruption. When the Indriya Dhamma exists properly in him, when they exist equitably, he gets an opportunity to get rid of sin arising in him.

Even if a sin arises in him, that sin does not torment him. He realizes that the sin is leaving him. He realizes “Sin arose. It has left me”. As a result he lives comfortably. As he keeps on practicing the Dhamma in this manner the sins in him get eradicated and if his Indriya Dhamma are strong he attains Parinibbana in this life itself. If the Indriya Dhamma are weak he attains Parinibbana in the next life.

If we wish to practice the path to Nibbana well how should we proceed? We must maintain the association with the worthy friend continuously. Based on what? Based on respectfulness. Based on what does this respect arise? By becoming aware of the assistance received and contemplating on them. It is then that what is called respect arises. Otherwise respect does not arise.

It is because we do not understand these facts correctly that we are unable to proceed on to the path to Nibbana. Suppose a person wishes to construct a house. He gets all the required materials. But if he is not aware of the technology in spite of getting all the materials can he build a beautiful house? Cannot. Why? He does not have the technology. Similarly although we have the Dhamma if we do not know the way to practice the Dhamma we are unable to develop a beautiful mind from this Dhamma. It is with the association with worthy friends that we learn the way of practicing the Dhamma. We bless you to practice well whatever Dhamma you learnt from what you have heard and to acquire the fortune to form beautiful minds.

Compiled with instructions by Ven. Nawalapitiye Ariyawansa Thera.

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The place of emotions in Buddhism

Dr Padmasiri de Silva

Emotions are generally regarded in the mind of the Buddhist as aspects of our personality that interfere with the development of a spiritual life, as unwholesome states ethically undesirable, and roadblocks to be cleared in the battleground between reason and emotion. In keeping with this perspective emotions are described as states of “agitation” or “imbalance.”

Each of us develops a relatively consistent pattern of emotional development, coloured by the individual's style of life

While a large number of emotional states discussed in Buddhist texts fit in to this description, are we to accept that all the emotions are of this sort? Within the field of experimental psychology, some accept that emotions can be both organizing (making behavior more effective) and disorganizing. In the field of ethics, the place of emotions in the moral life is a neglected subject, but a few voices in the contemporary world have expressed opinions which bring out the relevance of the psychology of emotions to moral assessment, reminding us of the very refreshing discussions in Aristotle's Nichomachean Ethics. In these discussions too there is an acceptance of the creative role of emotions in the moral life of man. It may be that there is an emotional aspect of man that distorts his reasoning, feeds his prejudices and darkens his vision, but should we not look for an emotional facet in man that expands one's horizons of thinking, breaks through our egotism, sharpens a healthy sense of the tragic and evokes the ennobling emotions of sympathy and compassion for fellow man?

There are young people all over the world today torn between the world of the senses with its excitement and boredom and “path of renunciation” about which they are not clear, as it combines a sense of rebellion, escape, mystery, and a search for the exotic East. I am sure the message of the Buddha presents to them a philosophy of life that will combine non-attachment with zest for doing things. This evening, let us turn our minds towards an aspect of this modern predicament, with the hope of discovering a little light in the ancient wisdom of the Buddha, a light that may help us to see clearly the nature of the little world of turmoil that surrounds us.

Our discussion today is not a matter of mere academic interest. The recent drama competition organized by the Kandy Y.M.B.A., an attempt to present a drama based on the Buddhist Jataka stories, is the kind of venture that makes us think that the “education of the emotions” is not alien to the Buddhist tradition. This talk will be concerned with the psychological, the ethical and, to a limited extent, the aesthetic dimension of emotions.

What are emotions?

An emotion is the meaning we give to our felt states of arousal. Psychologists consider emotions to be complex states involving diverse aspects. On the one hand an emotion is a physiological state of arousal; on the other, it also involves an object as having a certain significance or value to the individual. Emotions are dynamically fed by our drives and dispositions; they are also interlocked with other emotions, related to an individual's beliefs, a wide-ranging network of symbols and the “cultural ethos” of a society.

Emotions basically involve dispositions to act by way of approach or withdrawal. Let us take an example to illustrate this. A man who walks a long distance across a forest track feels thirsty, he is attracted by the sight of water in a passing stream and he approaches; but there is a fierce animal close to the stream and he is impelled to withdraw or fight; if he withdraws he might then have a general feeling of anxiety, and if he gets back home safely he will be relieved. Thus perception of objects and situations is followed by a kind of appraisal of them as attractive or harmful. These appraisals initiate tendencies to feel in a certain manner and an impulse to act in a desirable way. All states of appraisal do not initiate action; for instance, in joy we like a passive continuation of the existing state and in grief we generally give up hope. Though there may be certain biologically built-in patterns of expressing emotions, learning plays a key role. Learning influences both the type and intensity of arousal as well as the control and expression of emotions.

The emotional development of people has been the subject of serious study. There are significant differences in the emotional development of people depending on the relevant cultural and social variables. In fact, certain societies are prone to give prominence to certain types of emotions (a dominant social ethos). There are also differences regarding the degree of expressiveness and control of emotions. The important point is that each of us develops a relatively consistent pattern of emotional development, coloured by the individual's style of life.

The Psychology of Emotions in Buddhism

An emotion occurs generally when an object is considered as something attractive or repulsive.

There is a felt tendency impelling people towards suitable objects and impelling them to move away from unsuitable or harmful objects. The individual also perceives and judges the situation in relation to himself as attractive or repulsive. While a person feels attraction (saarajjati) for agreeable material shape, he feels repugnance (byaapajjati) for disagreeable material shapes. An individual thus possessed of like (anurodha) and dislike (virodha) approaches pleasure-giving objects and avoids painful objects.

Pleasant feelings (sukhaa vedanaa) and painful feelings (dukkhaa vedanaa) are affective reactions to sensations. When we make a judgment in terms of hedonic tone of these affective reactions, there are excited in us certain dispositions to possess the object (greed), to destroy it (hatred), to flee from it (fear), to get obsessed and worried over it (anxiety), and so on. Our attitudes which have been formed in the past influence our present reactions to oncoming stimuli, and these attitudes are often rooted in dynamic personality traits. These attitudes, according to Buddha, are not always the result of deliberations at a conscious level, but emerge on deep-rooted proclivities referred to as anusaya. Pleasant feelings induce an attachment to pleasant objects, as they rouse latent sensuous greed (raagaanusaya), painful feelings rouse latent anger and hatred (pa.tighaanusaya). States like pride, jealousy, elation, etc., can also be explained in terms of similar proclivities (anusaya). It is even said that such proclivities as leaning towards pleasurable experience (kaama raagaanusaya) and malevolence (byaapaadaanusaya) are found latent even in “an innocent baby boy lying on his back.”

The motivational side of the emotions can be grasped by a study of the six roots of motivation (muula). They fall into two groups, wholesome (kusala) and unwholesome (akusala). The unwholesome roots are greed (lobha), hatred (dosa), and delusion (moha), while the wholesome roots are non-greed, non-hatred, and non-delusion. Greed generates the approach desires in the form of the drive for self-preservation (bhava-ta.nhaa) and the drive for sensuous pursuits (kaama-ta.nhaa); hatred generates the avoidance desires in the form of the drive for annihilation and aggressive tendencies (vibhava-ta.nhaa). In keeping with our initial observations, non-greed, non-hatred, and non-delusion should be considered as the springs of wholesome or ethically desirable emotions. In fact, in a study of the impact of the wholesome roots on the forms of wholesome consciousness, the following significant observations has been made by the Venerable Nyanaponika Maha Thera:

“Non-greed and non-hate may, according to the particular case, have either a mainly negative meaning signifying absence of greed and hate; or they may posses a distinctly positive character, for example: non-greed as renunciation, liberality; non-hate as amity, kindness, forbearance. Non-delusion has always a positive meaning: for it represents the knowledge which motivates the respective state of consciousness. In their positive aspects, non-greed and non-hate are likewise strong motives of good actions. They supply the non-rational, volitional or emotional motives, while non-delusion represents the rational motive of a good thought or action.”

In the light of this analysis it is plausible to accept non-greed and non-hatred as the sources of healthy and positive emotions. It is also interesting to note that non-delusion is the basis of good reasons for ethical behavior.

A wrong ethical perspective also may be conditioned by one's desires and emotions. In the light of the Buddha's analysis, a materialistic ethics, influenced by the annihilationist view (uccheda di.t.thi), may itself be conditioned by desires. On account of desire there is clinging (ta.nhaa-paccayaa di.t.thi-upaadaana.m), and clinging is said to be of four forms, one of which is clinging to metaphysical beliefs.

Thus there can be rational motives for good actions as well as rationalizations influenced by emotions.

What is of importance in the observation we cited is that the Buddhist psychology of emotions does provide a base for creative emotional response, a point which, if accepted, has significant implications for Buddhist ethics, social theory and even art and aesthetics. While we shall come to the role of the creative emotions as we proceed, let us now examine in detail the specific emotions discussed by Buddha.

First we shall discuss the nature of fear, anger, guilt, and grief, and then move on to the four sublime states of loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity.

Based on Sir D. B. Jayatilleke Commemoration Lecture delivered in1976