Daily News Online

Wednesday, 14 December 2011



Alsatian Knight

Father Hector’s first impression was that she is a mad woman. To say that he was baffled by her request was an understatement.

“Excuse me my lady, you mean you want to marry this dog of yours?” he asked in total bewilderment.

“Yes I do father, I have been in love with him for so long and I want to marry him.”

“But you must understand that he is an animal, right?”

“Oh father stop calling him by that, he is as humane as it gets. He is tough, handsome, charming, romantic and faithful. He has almost all the qualities that I always wanted in a man. I want to marry him,” she pleaded.

“You must know that you have to have his consent to marry him right?” father inquired.

“Yes, I have asked from him. He likes me. You love me right, darling? I know you do,” she said, while caressing the underbelly of the fluffy Alsatian.

He responded with a gentle woof, as if to say yes.

“See father, he wants to marry me. He is a thousand times better than the crook I was married to.”

“Ohh, I see, you were married to someone else earlier. What happened?”

“He is an animal father.” She said while hugging her little doggy, “My Fluffy here is a million times better lover than my husband ever was to me,” she confessed.

Father Hector listened attentively. Part of him felt that she is delusional and crazy. But he wanted to listen to her story.

“Yes please go on dear one. Tell me how you ended up loving this little doggy of yours,” he gently requested.

* * * *

Thus her memories went back to the day where everything came to an end with her husband. Christine was caressing the woolly hair of her fluffy Alsatian when the door burst out loud with a bang. Clad in a dark grey overcoat her husband, Andrew, entered the room with a look of utter contempt in his eyes. The scene sickened him. His eyes started to fume with sheer rage.

“What are you doing Christine?” he e queried angrily

“Isn’t it obvious what I am doing? I am caressing him.”

“Oh for Christ’s sake, please stop it Christine, that thing is a dog, is it not? That is a freaking animal, stop caressing him, you will get sick.”

“How dare you call him a dog Andrew, he is as human as it can get,” she responded, while caressing the dog’s woolly back with her gentle hands.

The scene drove him mad. She is my wife and she is supposed to greet me with a smile after I return home from work, is she not, he thought.

Suddenly out of frenzy he spitted out,

“Oh really? You are so in love with him, why don’t you go ahead and marry him then?”

“I will Andrew, I will. In fact I spend the whole day caressing him when you are away,” Christine’s voice was still a composed one.”

“Ohh God, what the hell does that suppose to mean?

“You pretty well know what that means right? He is a good companion, million times better than you.”

“You mean, you love that ugly thing?”

“Don’t call him ugly, Andrew, he is as handsome as it gets. But since you are so concerned, yes he is such a good lover, million times better than you.”

“Oh is he? So he is your lover now, what does that make me then?”

“You are a spineless, impotent fool, Andrew. You are an animal, a very primitive, sick animal at that. You don’t have any sense whatsoever about human sensitivity. Don’t think that I don’t have any idea about the things that you do behind my back.”

“Excuse me, things that I do behind your back? What the hell does that suppose to mean? Am I not a good lover?”

“You, a good lover? No way Andrew, you are such a lousy lover, didn’t you know that?, the way you do it as if you want to suck the lifeblood out of me, it makes me sick. You make me sick Andrew, you do.”

“Ahh is that so? So that animal of yours is a better lover and a companion than me, is that the big issue here?”

“Oh for god’s sake, stop calling him an animal. He is more humane and handsome than any man I have ever known.

“He is a good lover, he is loyal and he has a wonderful sense of humour. More than any of these things, he is faithful Andrew; do you have any sense as to what the word means? He is loyal and faithful.”

“Is he? So are you implying that he is loyal, faithful and adorable where as I am not? For the love of god, what is it that you are trying to prove?”

“Oh drop it off Andrew; here let me rip of that mask of yours. Let me take it off.” She suddenly got up and started to rush towards Andrew. With all her womanly might she started to scratch his face.

“Take it off Andrew, take that damn mask off from your face,” she said while scratching his face with all her guts.

“Get away woman, you have gone mad. You have gone crazy Christine. What has gotten in to you?” Andrew inquired in total shock and bewilderment.

“Yes, I am ill and I am sick. I am sick of you Andrew that’s what killing me, you are killing me with your sick, two-faced ways,” she burst out while taking her hands off from Andrew’s face. She moved away from him towards the Alsatian’s side. She began to caress and cuddle his soft underbelly. As she caressed the Alsatian, he yelled out a cry of sheer ecstasy.

Andrew could not tolerate the scene anymore,

“Christine, get away from that animal of yours or else I am going to kill you both. Tell me what has gotten over you.”

“Andrew, for Christ’s sake, how many times do I have to tell it? Stop calling him an animal. You are the animal here Andrew, you are a sick, ruthless animal, you are a dog.”

“Excuse me, am I what? What are you getting at Christine?”

“You are a freaking DOG Andrew, a very sick one at that’,

“Oh now hold on dear, what does that suppose to mean? I am all at sea here.”

“Yes Andrew, you are exactly that, you are the animal. You have no sense whatsoever about being human.”

“I ask again, who told you such lies?”

“Your mistress did Andrew, that woman you go to see every day after work. She wanted a divorce certificate from me.”

“Oh for Christ sake, did Rene come and talked with you?”

“Yeh Rene that insolent mistress of yours, she has no shame at all, she just came and asked for the divorce certificate.”

Her response threw Andrew off-guard. He did not know what hit him. He approached Christine and started to shake her with all of his masculine might. Then he started to yell in frenzy,

“Hell with her, how dare did she do such a thing? What did she tell you?”

“Yeah, she told me everything, things that you do when you meet her, the usual stuff that animals do when they see a thing which they can’t resist. The way you drool over her and entwine yourself around her, you make me sick Andrew, you really do, get away.”?

To say that Andrew was taken back was an understatement. His head began to spin, finally his real self is exposed, he thought. He tried to retort back, but he could not bring himself to utter a single word.

“You are a dog Andrew. You bit the hand that fed for you. You hurt it big time Andrew. Don’t you get it Andrew? You bit the hand that cared for you and provided you with affection and love. You are an animal to do that Andrew. Tell me, how did her she taste like? Was it worth it Andrew?” Christine began to scream in rage.

Andrew could not tolerate it anymore. He knew that she was right. But he did not have the guts to admit to his folly. Her voice began to twirl inside his head. He felt as if his head was about to explode. Out of sheer rage, he took the iron table lamp and started to rush towards her. He wanted to crush her head to millions of pieces. He approached her with great fury and was just about to land a hefty blow to her head, when the Alsatian’s tight grip pulled him back. Without him even knowing it, the Alsatian flung itself towards Andrew and began to attack him. Andrew had no sense whatsoever about what hit him till he saw the Alsatian’s furious jaws closing upon his terrified face.

* * * * *

Suddenly, Christine’s thoughts shifted back to the present times. She again began to plead from the father.

“Father he was about to kill me. Andrew was about to crush my head with that iron table lamp. But he saved me father, he really did. Like a knight in shining armour he came and saved me. Isn’t he adorable father, he saved the damsel in distress.” Father Hector kept on looking at Christine and then at the dog. Apparently she is shocked by the incident, he thought. He wanted to console her.

“Come dear child, let go of the incident and rest at the church for the moment,” he said with a gentle tone. Father felt sorry for Christine. He wanted to help her. He wanted to comfort her. He was just about to put his arm over her shoulder and offer her some words of comfort, when he heard the snarling roar of the Alsatian.

“Oh father, please do not touch me. Take your hands off me. He does trust anyone, especially men. Please don’t you ever touch me, he will attack you,” Christine suddenly burst in panic.

The scene of the snarling Alsatian sent a chill through Father Hector’s veins. He nervously pulled his hand away from Christine. As he pulled himself away from her, the furious eyes of fluffy Alsatian kept on gazing at him with a look of utter contempt and disdain in its eyes.

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