Interview with a mimicking parrot
Amalshan Gunerathne
I looked in sheer amazement as a parrot dressed in multicolored
feathers walked in to the boardroom with a passive look on his face. The
parrot stood there for a moment while I kept staring at him in absolute
astonishment.
“I am here for the interview sir,” he said in a rather meek tone.
“You are? For which post may I wonder?” I asked in total
bewilderment.
“For the post of Immigration and Foreign affairs Management
Executive.” He responded in a very pedantic tone.
 To say that I was baffled was an understatement. I kept on observing
the peculiar figure in total confusion. He had nothing to cover himself
except the vibrant feathers which were wrapped around his torso. He had
a dark, heavy file in his hand. I didn’t know what else to do, except to
offer him a seat.
“Yes, go ahead and take a seat.” I said.
“Thank you sir,” he responded in a very polite manner.
“So, what made you apply for the job?” I asked.
“I have a special degree in International Relations.” He said in a
very pompous tone.
Then he went through his dark, heavy file and pulled out a
certificate.
“Here is the degree certificate sir.”
I took the degree certificate and started to read every line of it.
This is to certify that Mickey James Perera has obtained a First Class
degree in International Relations at the University of Neverland. The
class attendance is 95.6 percent, it read. I was impressed.
“Hmm, pretty impressive,” I remarked.
“Thank you,” he again pegged back in a very pedantic tone.
“So I believe you are specialized in the field of International
Relations.”
“Yes sir, I am.”
“Ok, yeah, what is your own view about the contemporary international
warfare?” I inquired.
“Well sir, according to Malinowsky ‘War is an armed conflict between
two political units by means of organized military forces in the pursuit
of a policy.”
“Ahh yes, thanks for enlightening me. But with all due respect sir, I
asked for your viewpoint. What some philosopher said hundred years ago
doesn’t really concern me at all. I am recruiting you, not Malinowsky; I
want your viewpoint. Yes, tell me what do you think of war?”
I again asked in a rather serene tone.
The parrot did seem to be bit rattled. But he responded:
“Ahh well sir, if you are asking for a definition, I have to say that
to a certain extent I do agree with Quincy Wright. He says, the war is a
legal condition which equally permits two or more hostile groups to
carry out a conflict by armed forces.” The parrot again elaborated with
his usual solemn way.
“So, you think you know everything huh?” I asked in a very sarcastic
tone. For once I lost my patience. Suddenly I began to loathe his
pedantic pompousness.
“For Christ’s sake don’t you get it? I asked for your opinion, not
the viewpoint of some scholar who lived centuries ago. Don’t you have
your own definition, your own ideology regarding the subject that you
study?” I revolted in a very demanding tone.
“Well sir. They didn’t ask for our opinion at the exam. The first
question of the Foreign Policy Paper read: ‘Define the term war with
regard to Quincy Wright’s definition on war’. You see sir, if I wrote my
own viewpoint I would have failed the test.”
“Come on now, you are a graduate. You should be able to perceive
things with your own eyes, give your own definitions, and create your
own ideologies. It is hard to believe that you don’t have the
intellectual capacity to give your own definition about modern warfare.
Can you even define what International Relations really is?”
“Well sir, Thompson says ‘The International Relation’ is the study of
rivalry among nations and the conditions and institutions which
ameliorate or exacerbate these relationships.”
The answer really drove me crazy. Yet a thought really struck hard on
my mind. He is a parrot. What else should we expect from a parrot other
than mimicking? Parrots are brought up that way. All they know is how to
mug up and imitate whatever that their masters teach them. Besides for
the best part of their lives they live in a cage. It is very seldom they
get the chance to go beyond the boundaries and perceive the world
through their own eyes. A mimicking parrot is no good to me, I thought.
I was just about to speak and give my final decision when he intervened.
“Sir, I also have a Masters Degree on Political Science.” He passed
me another certificate.
I went through the certificate, but this time not with much interest.
“We can’t take you to this institute sir. We don’t employ parrots in
our department. If you are desperate to get a job, we can probably
provide you with a golden cage and put you at the entrance to keep our
guests entertained.” I gave my final verdict.
The parrot seemed a bit confused. But he didn’t say anything to his
defence. In fact his response surprised me. He didn’t seem to be rattled
by the rigid decision. He got up, offered his feathery hand and walked
away from the office. After all he is just a mimicking parrot brought up
to please others. I thought about my encounter with the parrot for a few
moments, but I couldn’t dwell on my thoughts for much longer, as I had
to pick up my son from the school. Thus I got off from the office and
started to make my way towards the school.
I was just about to enter the school premises when my ten year old
son came rushing from his classroom.
“Dad, the teacher taught us the multiplication table today. Now I
even know what twelve multiplied by twelve stands for.” He said in his
usual chirpy tone. Then he started to mutter.
“Nine multiplied by nine equals eighty one, nine multiplied by ten
equals ninety, nine multiplied by eleven equals ninety nine, nine
multiplied by twelve equals hundred and eight.”
He went on. The muttering went on to an extent that it started to
irritate me a little.
“Son can you stop that for a moment? You are beginning to get on my
nerves:”
“I can’t, dad, the teacher wanted us to byheart the multiplication
table.” He said in an enthusiastic tone and started to mimic the
multiplication table.
He began to mutter the whole thing over and over again to an extent
that a sudden realization struck hard on my mind. I kept on looking at
my son in total disbelief. As he kept on muttering the multiplication
table, tiny colored feathers began to emerge from ears. The vision of
him muttering the multiplication table sent shivers through my veins. I
kept gazing at my own son in utmost terror, as he began to transform
himself into a mimicking parrot.
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