Umpire needs ‘protection’, oh dear!
Julian Assange
Born:
July 3, 1971 (age 39)
Nationality:
Australian
Occupation:
Editor-in-chief and spokesperson for Wikileaks
Awards:
Economist Freedom of
Expression Award (2008)
Amnesty International UK Media Award (2009)
Sam Adams Award (2010)
WTF? That’s ‘what’s the fuss’ in case you thought I was being cute
about an expletive. I say ‘WTF’ because I can’t believe what I just
heard. The Empire, i.e. the coalition of chip-on-shoulder nations with
barbaric histories led by you-know-who with sidekick and recent colony,
that country on which the sun never rises, has been so pants-down caught
that it has simply gone overboard with the idea of ‘protection’. Did I
say ‘Empire’? Should I have said ‘ex-Empire’ given that China virtually
owns Barack Obama? Should I say ‘Umpire’ or ‘Hora Umpire’ given
propensity to jump to conclusion and cheat? Let’s go with ‘umpire’
(lower-case as befits reduced circumstances).
I am talking about Wikileaks by the way. And Julian Assange, its key
point man. It was a matter of time for Obama and Co to kick up a fuss
and slam him with some crazy charge. He has got too big to be shot down.
Mowed down by a container truck perhaps but not point-blank shooting.
‘Rape’ is the charge. That’s pretty old. Expected.
Lack of evidence
On the other hand, one must never rush to judgment. I gave the umpire
the benefit of the doubt. I thought ‘maybe there was sufficient reason
to believe that Julian was out of line’.
Barack Obama |
Julian Assange |
Well, for three months there were rumours that he would be charged
with rape. In August, the Swedish Public Prosecutor, having issued an
arrest warrant (for rape), had withdrawn it the same day due to lack of
evidence. Well, it seems that ‘evidence’ has surfaced now. Julian is
charged with ‘rape’ and it is claimed (hold your sides, folks) by the
Swedes that sex without a condom can warrant slamming him with a minimum
of two years in prison. Wtf?
It is said that Julian started with protection and later threw
caution (and the condom) to the winds, how very arrogant of him! Rape,
by the way, is a crime of violence, duress of deception. If someone was
deluded into thinking that you are someone else or persuaded to have sex
by drugging or the weight of years (in the case of a minor) it is indeed
a crime of violence.
Swedish prosecutors
Well, the Swedes seem to think that the two ‘accusers’, one close to
30 and one over 30, were utterly naive and inexperienced. The fact of
the matter is that they were both bragging how they were hanging out
with one of the ‘coolest’, ‘smartest’ dudes ever to walk the earth. That
was on Twitter.
This was ‘after the fact’. No mention of sloppy fingers and ‘wardrobe
malfunction’ at the time, one notes. No mention of being duped.
Nothing of violence. Ergo, no rape. One of them had actually thrown a
party in honour of the man who she would later say raped her and this
after the ‘crime’ of condom-clumsiness. The Swedish prosecutors have
confirmed that both ‘victims’ had been bragging about the ‘conquest’.
They have moreover admitted there was ‘consent’. Rape? Wtf, really?
The Swedes have a term (I am rolling on the floor, laughing my
whatever off) for all this ‘sex by surprise’ or ‘unexpected sex’. Two
well educated women, who’ve travelled and seen the world can be
surprised by sex? What’s Surprising Sex? What’s ‘Unexpected Sex’? Damn,
these women ought to share the prize for the Dumbest in 1,000 years!
Demonstration
There’s more to this. One of the happily twittering ‘victims’, Anna
Ardin, it has now been revealed, has close ties to the CIA. Surprise,
surprise!
I don’t know if the umpire has taken a course called ‘Condom-Use
101’. I don’t know if such a course exists anywhere on earth. It is high
time such a course of study was developed and be made mandatory for all
would-be umpires.
The umpire clearly has never had sex or seen a condom, forget about
using one.
I am made to understand that the umpire needs protection. There’s a
smart way to get protection and there’s a smart-ass way to do it.
This is a third way. It’s called Dumb-Ass Way (I hereby apologize
profusely and solemnly to all asses, for I am taking the other meaning
of the word).
According to the Swedes, about 99.99 percent of all women whoever had
sex from the beginning of time were raped, whether or not they twittered
in whatever language and whatever way they could have or didn’t. I think
it is high time that the umpire gave a condom-wearing demonstration so
we know for such there is reasonable and demonstrable expertise to point
finger and pass judgment. However, if this is the best that the umpire
can do, I am really, really, really sorry for the dude. Seriously.
I know they are having problems with Julian, but all this makes me
scream ‘WTF?’ The first word here is ‘what’ and the last is not ‘fuss’.
Sorry.
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