Serendipity through lifelong friendship
The
campus, nestling amidst the picturesque hills got etched in our memories
instantly. A feast of colour from the blossoming Jacaranda trees by the
library and lectures halls seemed fittingly ornamental.
Bonding occurred mostly at random - the matches just happened - with
no time to ask the obvious questions: Are you a party animal? Do you
shower by habit? Are you bent on using your roommate's belongings? Yes -
we knew soon enough.
Some commingled relentlessly! A select few climbed Hantana hills
ostentatiously feigning Sir Hilary's Himalayan poise - some of course,
were blatantly more amorous. A memorable one-liner heard after many such
hikes was-"the hunk and the show-off did not always get the girl."
Others felt it was like doing a long train journey: some got in and
out hurriedly, many stayed put for too long, others were smitten with
love and a diminutive few were held back.
Almost all were immersed in the melting pot of dreams - a seemingly
idyllic setting.
It was also a fact that there was a vast, benign category of friends
with whom we could not interact fully, but they still constituted a
comforting background chorus. We were blessed to have met them - the A
Hall buddies.
We hit the books but...
It was a place where we hit the books but also learnt not to judge
books by the looks of the covers. We disagreed, squabbled, took sides
and still lived to tell it all.
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Peradeniya
University. File photo |
We had reservations, doubts and grimaced trying to ward off Et tu
Brute back stabbings - popularly called 'undering'.
But such co-existence at times with snarly and moody allies readied
us for the working world. Sometimes friends were outlandishly
cantankerous over minor matters.
Others sneered, scowled and frowned - but somehow weathered the
hullabaloo and remained friends still.
We debated frequently and covetously-why the adoringly daintiest
maids always fell for the seemingly least desirable of suitors: The
winners became the public enemy number one of those who loved and lost
or even never dared to love.
The few philosophically pondered as to why the Incas were extinct?
Those inclined to woo two girl friends simultaneously never failed to
quote Darwin that diverse strains would promote survival of the species.
But girls never fell for that baloney.
There were unforgettable archetypes of the 'dressed to kill' - only a
very few could afford at the campus. We learnt to tolerate the overly
dramatic, self-absorbed or plain and even the seemingly naive-mockingly
tagged the 'jokers.'
Some fell in love with future life partners the very first time they
met - they all adorned the passing parade.
If only meandering Lover's Lane by the Mahaveli streamlet had its say
we would write an epic lovers' tale.
Others promised to be the 'over-achievers' of the future-motivated
but hassled, quixotic yet idealistic.
Some had cultivated looks behind which were impish minds, ever ready
to pull a leg or two. Some got singed i.e. the romantically inclined who
fell for the parading charm. Others got the boot, ignominiously labelled
the jilted.
Others had a messianic fervour bordering on egomania. They abhorred
everything that was considered trivial.
Some eschewed sports, the movies and everything that smacked of
romance. These were taboo because the overriding goal was success at the
exams.
Rejection of cloning
Personality clashes in all its exuberance rejected the notion of a
cordon of clones being sought as friends. Nowadays US students use web
sites like URoomSurf, or RoomBug to make matches to ensure compatibility
- why we don't know.
Then we didn't care. A tiny few may have sought matching horoscopes
though.
Sociological studies seem to indicate that some carry the burden of
memory and history while wearing masks to hide them. As we befriended
each other and took time to help heal their pain we climbed a notch or
two in our own growth process.
Relationships built you up and made you grow, even the unhealthy ones
(eventually).
We reconnected with a deeper understanding of ourselves and realizing
who we were.
It was a noble thing, but in a friendship or partnership, the only
way to be truly healthy would be when two people aligned together to
mutually strengthen both.
Relationships created new lives in the people involved. Conflict was
unavoidable, but even the aftermath of it, provided the unlocking of
hidden trait for the better.
I will end on a funny note: once coming home we hitched a ride from a
stranger at Peradeniya and were ambushed by 'bandits' hired to seize and
take the car whose owner had defaulted on payments. Three of us had to
bus our way home - the comically wacky episode left us dejected but we
laughed it off.
At times those who befriended us brought back a treasure trove of
memories of years gone by and eventually our kids had become friends:
the second generation bonding. Serendipity has arrived.
We left the campus feeling competent-quite brashly ready to battle
the windmills - we viewed the world through lenses tinted with
associations and emotional responses that had tested us to the utmost.
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