Silver tears :

Deception

The eyes are the mirror of the soul.

- Yiddish proverb

They say that the tongue lies but do you know that the eyes never deceive? I have evidence. Not through fiction or hearsay but through experience - deep rooted and tormented chapters of life.

My friends ask, "Shehara how could you smile so when your emotions are not reflected in your eyes?" Their words hold truth. Eyes which had shed a thousand tears, and seen the face of death can never veil reality. Each morning I glance at the mirror. It is still the same Shehara in the reflection. It is still the same complexion, face and profile. Only... her eyes are different. Someone had snuffed out the light in her eyes. Her eyes are bottomless pits of sorrow.

I was never good at playacting. I was incapable of hiding my emotions. My face mirrored my emotions. I could never hide my worries from the world. Then how did I succeed in hiding my strongest emotions from those around me? How did I veil the most precious object from prying eyes? It is mystery. A set of letters with which I cannot form a word.

Shakespeare once said that God has given you one face, and you make yourself another. At times people have caught me off guard. There are times when the mask almost slipped. Yet some force pulls me back. What is this strength coming to my aid? Is it the power of endurance naturally gifted to a woman or the strength of my feelings towards you? I have no clue but I'll settle for both answers. Every morning when I wake up, I find my pillow drenched with tears. Yet I cannot recall memories of shedding tears through the night. There was a time some days back when it was a different story. I must have shed bucketful of tears each passing night, crouching sleepless in the dark and counting each second with them. The first rays of dawn peeks out of the window. Then the a race of deception begins. It starts with bathing these swollen eyes to hide the evidence from the world. Too many questions. Too many stories untold. I made a pact that I would carry to my grave. But who will put this grief-stricken soul to rest?

Shehara [email protected]