From Joy, Peace and Happiness:

To Joy Passion Lust blah blah blah WOW

Darlings! while the whole world is celebrating the birth of a great sage, somebody of me Colombian's Colombo is celebrating the birth of a Porn Star it looks like. Aney dears some people slip over their limits or may be by flaunting sex right throughout the year they forget that it is Christmas. Which is the birth of Christ (just a reminder, if they have forgotten?)

Colour Red for Joy has been interpreted as red for lust and dears! People who went all Ga Ga about 'Da Da Vinci's Cord' (which was 'coded' red by the authorities) are totally blind to this 'un-coded' blasphemy that is going on in our own backyard.

But looking at it in a more 'matter of fact way' me Colombian thinks that the people behind this 'horrendous crime' are quite naive about this whole thing or they are not getting enough of what they are flaunting around.

It is all in good faith I suppose, like me Colombian had noticed some writers who write about women's matters (and sadly specialises on the subject) pops up a subject on 'How to get your MAN all tied down to you?' (how else I wonder, other than by tying them down to closest tree to one's home?)

Darlings in the days gone by there was great belief in 'Hooniyang'. You know those things called Charms? (the best quality comes from down south specialist). Aiyo not the 'Charm' the way some 'bridal dressers' express the word on those morning show programmes on TV. "Okkoma sudu paaten, hari Charm vidhihata..." (in this case meaning 'simple and nice' in all white sans glitter)

Now coming back to the subject of 'How to get your MAN all tied down to you?' Well me Colombian thinks that the 'Down South Hooniyang' did work in some cases. But dears! The man ended up suffering from 'TB'. Aiyo no, no not 'Temporary Boredom' Aney (In case of marrying the women who 'Hooniyang-fied' to get her man the man will not only suffer from 'Eternal Boredom' after the initial attractions of 'sexual bonding' has faded away. He will also suffer from the disease called TB. Tuberculosis.

How come? All of me Colombian's Colombyte ladies will ask. Specially the ones who have tried that southern 'Hooniyang' to get man they were after and get to where they are today.

Be it the cocktail circle or ending up owning a fleet of cars that can cause a traffic jam in the streets of New York or even having enough money to maintain a Paramour (Toy Boy, Dears!) behind the back of the very man that her (Colombyte Lady's) family got the village 'Kattadiya' do the 'Hooniyang' to get him bound to her for ever.

Well! How come. Now dears! those 'Hooniyangs' are concocted with a mixture of many things (These days we can do all that hard work of pounding the mixture in a pounder. You know the 'Wang Gediya'? We could have blended large quantities in a Electric Blender and sold packets of it at me Colombian's Colombo Super markets No?) Well those many things consist of many things including the excreta of the Lizard. You know the 'Huna' No? The thing that goes Chick, Chick, (The sound which some people think is 'Hooniyang' by itself if it is heard when you are about to step out of the house).

'Chike' Darlings! You all, who ever who charmed to get your man will think 'Eeekeiya! did I feed my husband with that Lizard Shit? Yes my dears! That's exactly what you have done or did, knowingly or unknowingly. Divas! And dears now you will realise that you have been sleeping (all your life but on and off at the latter stages) with a man who had 'Lizard Shit' in his system. Eeeeeeeya!

Hmm,.. now you all me Colombian's Colombyte ladies who are getting their servants to get their village 'Kattadiya' to pound a 'Hooniyang' to be fed to that 'Rich and Handsome' son of the Walauwwa Paramparawa that hails from the Kandyan Kingdom.

"Not only that Aney!" our Colombyte lady, I hear saying on her morning 'Gossip Call' to another Colombyte socialite, "Must see the cars he is coming in no? Aiyo! Don't know a variety of them Aney! A Ferrari today, a BMW tomorrow, like a dinky toy shop only".

So darlings! who is the ambitious mother who will let a 'Kolla' like that walk through her garden path 'AWW'. You know what that stands for 'Atha Wana Wana' (Empty Handed) without having the daughter of the house get her 'Atha' entangled in an expensive 'Atha' of that sort.

Now! coming back to the Tuberculosis bit my dears! the 'Hunu Excreta' blended into the 'Hooniyang' is used as a binder into the 'Hooniyang' into which a 'Mantra' has been 'Japa-fied' (chanted) over and over again to the extent that any man who eats that will get stunned and marry the women who put it into his system.

So! what actually happens is that the 'Hooniyang' gets permanently glued to the Romeo's intestines, getting him permanently glued to the girl he thought was a temporary 'roll over'. Its permanent residence in the man's stomach and its toxic content playing havoc gets him to the church on time and to the hospital later in his life.

That also may be one reason that most of those monied male type's one sees at those me Colombians Colombyte cocktail parties, accompanied with non other than the women of his life; who spoon-fed him the 'Hooniyang' and became the 'Everlasting Hooniyang' of his life appear to look so Domiciled, Domesticated and Confiscated with his Sophisticated 'Charmer' by his side.

But Darlings! While the man goes to the grave with his Tuberculosis the Mother-in-law goes to the grave with the secret of what caused that disease to her wealthy Son-in-law who left all his wealth behind for her daughter and grandchildren to join her in hell (the last minute 'Upasaka Amma' act won't work it seems Aney!) So me Colombian saw and heard preached over TV on a Poya Day.

The 'Old Codger' of a Son-in-law will surely go to hell because of sinning here in this world (I wonder where those 'Hells' and 'Heavens' are? If they refer to "Melowa karana karuma wipaka, Elowadhi pala denawa". Melowa=This world, Elowa= Hell or Heaven.

So when the Ma-in-law meets the Ole Sonna-in-law in Elowa she is sure to confess to him about the 'Hooniyang' bit so that she can lessen the weight of the burden she had gone down to hell with so that she can descend to heaven even at a later stage.

But dears do you think the Ole Codger is going to take it lying down on those fires? No my dears! The Ma-in-law who has by now lived in hell to a 'Baked Old Age' will be Grilled to be fit enough to be served at the annual 'Barbecue Night' with the distinguished appearance of 'Yama Rajjuruwo' (the CEO of Hell) who's only secret of prevailing in his post, is his refusal to extinguish the fires of his kingdom.

I wonder how 'Yama Rajjuruwo' ended up securing the post of CEO 'Deep Dow Under' in the state where fire alarms are taboo. Is it by getting all his 'Little Devils' to by the major shares of the company and later get it all transferred it all in his name.

Aney dears! may be he is kind to his little fellows also who buy on his behalf with his money. They might be all appointed to the board of directors No? Being appointed to a board in that kind of place (Hell) might be keeping them on a 'Hot Seat' all the time no?

Darlings all that brings us back to the hot seat over down here, like the one that is hot and painting the town Red.

The colour of joy which is also the colour of Passion Lust and Lucifer (according to that billboard) advising all young people to wear those type of revealing clothes to midnight mass this Christmas.

Some of me Colombian's Colombyte ladies who have enough of 'dough' No, no not the 'Paang Piti' Aney! No not even the American Piti Child!

This is the posh term for cash used by our Colombyte ladies dears. Well they can buy those sensuous outfits to give some misfits the fits. You know no the types that are always oogling and googling at those areas exposed with utter deliberation to show the ones who gets a kick out of seeing.

Well! if that is the type of clientele that Joy Passion and Lust earns, then such words and half dressed images are not in vain and it will also help to keep the blood circulation at a all round high and hot of those emotionally bankrupt high flyers during this December Chill. WOW!