Oh My Goat!

Me Colombian's past experiences in school and in his neighbourhood as a boy was a cocktail of ethnicity, and in the days gone by me Colombian thinks that it was this same trend all over, specially in Colombians Colombo.

There were the Tamils, Muslims, Burghers and a sprinkle of Malays of course, who speak a different language unlike their Muslim brothers; who have made Tamil their mode of dialogue.

However, since there was a large contingent of Sinhalese also in the neighbourhood, it was natural that the mode of communication in little me Colombian's surroundings as a child was more in the 'Mother Tongue' and looking back it brings hilarious memories.

Dagma Thurgood who was explaining to the bass about fixing a piece of broken furniture tells him in her accented faltering 'Mother Tongue' "Den oya this chair eka fix koranda soon, Okay! Please eyka weda uda waadi wela inda epa".

What she actually tried to convey to the rather slow carpenter is that the job of repairing the chair should be done as soon as possible and 'please do not sit on the job'.

Then she would ramble at me Colombian's mother saying "look aney this fatness this children have, can't keep anything no! in this house, know to break only, now have to pay these codgers to make, he will also drag, drag and wait"

On the other hand, there is Mohideen Bi Bi's (might be another version for Baby) husband Maharouf Lebbe who comes to advise and add his few cents worth quite uninvited.

He takes a long look at the carpenter says to him "Den umbala meyka atha ga ga inna yepa, Nonata hadhishshi thamai. Umba ikmanta, ikmanta korapung" meaning the lady needs the job to be done fast and you have to do it soon.

This same Lebbe once was approached by Dagma's husband Aubrey at around dinner time and he taps at Lebbe's door shouting "Lebbe, Lebbe come wilu to tell something" and pat comes the reply from inside his Muslim neighbour's house shouting back "Aha wait, wait I am eating my child" meaning that he was feeding his son dinner.

Likewise there was this Railway Engine Driver in the neighbourhood Thaleyaratnum but better known by his Sinhalese friends as 'Koachchi Thale'.

One day while he was at a neighbourhood function upon being asked by another about the number of children in his family Thale who was slightly high on spirits reply "Err me and my wiferr only, and have one son only and two ladies also"

* * *

Well talking of the function 'Boji Weerapass' wife 'Sudhi Girl' was heard telling her female neighbours "Aney I doan no how to tell these things to Boji boy, chi! that Karuna woman is having a party today evening because the second girl also have become a big girl no!"

"Aney Sudu Nona apey aya nam oka lokuwata gannawa, anith eka kello denna ne apita inney" explaining to Boji Weerapass' wife that it is customary to celebrate an event when a girl attends womanhood, adding 'after all we have only two girls in the family no'.

"Our 'Sudhi Girl' also big girl no became, now! nobody knew no till I telling just now" screams Dagma Thurgood "bloody nonsense no! all this, no shame even". "Haney, haney now only telling after eating alone" says Carmen Vandort, another of Dagma's neighbours.

Coming back to the present from me Colombian's past this incident took place inside a bus down Galle Road. "Bynawa, bynawa" screams obviously a Burgher lady and gets mad at the conductor for ringing the bell before she got off.

The young fellow retorts at her comments and the lady while stepping down says "Ohoma 'Rude' koranda eypa" (meaning in her own words not to be rude).

At hearing the word 'Rude' the young conductor puts his head out and yells, while the bus was slowly pulling away "Ayei monawa karandada, Api hemadama weda karanne me 'Route' eke thamai" (Why what are you going to do? we always work on this route, meaning 'Route number').

In a separate incident from down South in the days gone by, two thieves, one Sinhalese and a Muslim had entered a house at night.

While they were groping in the dark the Sinhalese had accidentally knocked against a brass flower vase which had rolled over making a loud noise through the silence that prevailed.

The landlady who was awakened by the sound upon inquiring who it was got a response from the Sinhalese, who made a 'Meow' sound indicating that it was a cat and the lady of the house has rolled over cursing the feline.

Right behind the Sinhalese guy was the Muslim who almost immediately knocked over the fallen vase rolling it away making a further noise, to which the lady sat up in her bed inquiring "Me para kawuda?" (meaning who is it this time?). Pat came the answer from the Muslim "Yekath pooshiya thamai" (meaning that too is the cat)

* * *

Looking at a few language problems of our dear Muslim brothers in the past me Colombian remembers another incident which has taken place in a temple in Chilaw where many of the Tamils and Muslims found shelter away from the prying eyes of attackers.

The Bikkhus of the temple who wanted to smuggle out these men who were at their mercy had don them up in robes and told them to follow a few of the real priests from the temple, so that they can be taken away to a safer hide out.

As the imposters were being lead by the priest they came upon a clique of gangsters in the area who actually mistook them all for priests from the village temple.

But on seeing the Muslim clad in a robe, who was last in line one of the gangsters turned back to peep at the group that were disappearing from their sight.

The guilty Muslim who turned back and noticed the gangster asks him brazenly "Mukkudha apila diha ishshi ishshi balanawa?" (meaning in his own Sinhalese why are you peering at us) Which actually made the gangsters give chase behind the imposters.

Me Colombian is also aware of certain English words that are used as in between 'support pillars' to keep a Sinhalese sentence alive, in modern terms.

'Fight ekaka gaha gannawa' (involved in a fight), Appa! amathithuma mara talks ekak thamai dunne (a supporter referring to a speech by a Minister), 'accident ekkak happila' (does not necessarily mean 'knocked down by an accident') Amidst all this me Colombian is aware too of certain persons who insist on answering in English even though one speaks to them in sinhalese, but they feel offended if one keeps on with the mother tongue.

Trouble strikes the moment you switch on to English and one finds out for one's self that whatever errand one has in mind to be attended to by the other person gets unduly delayed.

Tourists too get to the edge of things when they try to find out directions. In this case it was not far away from me Colombian's Beira abode over the bridge that leads to the Fort Railway Station.

As me Colombian was passing a couple of foreigners who probably have asked directions from two policemen me Colombian could hear a direction being given thus: "You going front side, that building coming..." but as me Colombian was passing by, it was not possible to find out how many 'buildings had to come' his way before the tourist got his destination coming his way.