Oh! Colombo

Marathon Loan

An athlete that was not listed for games that is commonly wealthy enough to have un-wealthy countries participate in it, is facing the marathon task of trying to convince a financial institute the state of the art sponsorship business. The athlete, who at one time had a VIP running faster than the athlete to keep his reputation on the right track, is finding it hard to convince her lenders.

The financial and lending agency; Colombian is told, has released a large sum of money to the athlete to train in a foreign land which was discovered by a similar name to me Colombian. But it must be stated that the guy is in no way related even to the great, great, grand, grand, grandfather of mine.

However the athlete's aspiration of shedding perspiration to train 'big time' was materialised but the motto, according to the financial institute is that assistance was granted on the grounds that the athlete was to be included in the wealthy contingent, that was what was common.

But surprisingly this athletic star has been left out this time, sparking off the institute which funded her to seek repayment. Now! is it not time that an institute of that standing learnt this 'State of the art sponsorship business' which will add to the institute's track record?

Birds Of No Feather

The avian flu which is now a bird away is raising fears here and people are running away from the chicks, Colombian is told. But there are some guys we all know that has suffered from this disease since they were teenagers and never died of it and always kept running towards rather than run away from birds.

These guys have had the hots for 'chicks' from their cradle and have cradled quite a number without succumbing to the disease. It's the poor birds that have continuously fallen prey and become victims of these reigning Don Juans.

A woman who fell victim a long time ago to one of these 'patients' suffering from this randy version of the 'bird flu' even after his marriage, said when inquired upon about her experience "I am sick of him". But guys and gals this plague that is spread around by the feathered ones is supposed to not only make one sick but 'a deadly romance' at that.

Acting For Toffees

Talking of chicks me Colombian was under-privileged in a way to see a few clips of a film starring two singers in the lead roles. Both were disapprovingly proving that they cannot act for the biggest sweet meat that appears in the Guiness book of records 'leave alone a toffee' and Colombian approves it 100%.

It is a kind of a trend set by India in recent years to bring in girls who are fashion models, beauty queens etc. to act in films. Most of them have sustained not because of their acting histrionics but because they can shake their hips from east to west creating tremors from Mumbai to the Jaffna peninsula.

Sadly! our movie fans are only keen to see the Mumbai hip-wiggle and find that our lasses can't match that. But our directors should also realise that the calibre of Aishwarya Rai doesn't come 'A dozen a dime'.

Queen Kong!

At a cinema where the 'King' version is showing, a lady from the 'Rag Trade' has accompanied her niece and nephew to see the mighty mammal in action. It was not too long after the three of them took their respective seats, the lady (an attractive divorcee) found a few male gazes flashing in her direction.

It was not until the latter part of the intermission that the four 'Gym Types' had offered a packet of cashew nuts to the lady's little niece which her teenage nephew had refused on his sister's behalf.

The three 'Gym Kongs' who were embarrassed by the little fellow's bold gesture amidst other onlookers inside the theatre has threatened the lad on their way out. Infuriated, the lady who planned to take the musclemen to task once outside found two cops propped up on their bike outside on the pavement opposite the theatre.

Quite pleased with the defense she confronted, the lady turned around with pleasure to look at the 4 guys and surprised to find them walking away in a mighty hurry in a different direction, in a pace that would have matched only that of 'King Kong'.

Colombian thinks these types are rampant in society today and gets away acting appallingly. But at least in this case they got 'Peanuts' in return for their Cashew nuts.

Booby S-traps

A formerly rundown hotel that has been bought by a VIP THEN and is successfully operated NOW in the North East, has had quite a few upper ranks of the flannelled types patronising the pool terrace recently; on a regular basis. But Colombian is told that the visits were not in favour of high spirits alone.

It seems that two immigrant birds, not the feathered types of course, staying at this luxurious aboard were in a habit of sun-bathing baring the 'upper levels' of their assets on the 'lower deck' of the swimming pool.

Now it is heard that a young officer who tried extending his gentleman-ship to one of the ladies have got hooked and is seeking to be released to fly away. What bothers Colombian is not the idea of losing an officer in the ranks as much as finding out that wedlock is nothing new to this 'Officer and a Gentleman,' but the rich immigrant bird is willing to pay all-round. The state, the wife and all.

Yes! Italian. No! Garlic

A colleague of mine took a friend for lunch at a restaurant from the land of the leaning Piza. But a Hut it is not, though the name suggests thus. A sprawling nice restaurant it is, down a place that is union.

Colombian's dear colleague is an ardent food fan and has a way with his 'Dishes' ordered a Lasagna with Garlic Bread as a side dish; which is the regular fashion it is served. But! by the name of Mussolini, the steward comes with the main dish alone saying that the accompaniment is out of stock.

My friend's nerves, in his own words "Turned into strands of Spaghetti with hot meat sauce running in them" and to make matters worse a floor supervisor offers a plate of 'French Fries' to go side by side with it. Oh! will Mastroanni, Mangnanni or Versacci tell me how these two things go hand in mouth? Oh Mio Dio!