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| Monday, 08 November 2004 |
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That generation gap by Oscar E. V. Fernando Those of the older generation will take the advice of UNICEF to listen to children as rather cheeky. In this busy world of high tech materialism, things are rapidly getting so impersonalized that a break between generations could become a serious problem if its causes are not looked into. In earlier generations, the family was the basic unit that passed on values to generations yet unborn. This stems from the solidarity of a marriage where the spouses took each other for better or for worse and committed themselves to each other for life long mutual assistance and a striving for loyalty. This seed of solidarity in the family, amid strains and strife's of married life, extended to children who in turn carried that torch of married solidarity to their own families, and the same bond continued to exist between grown children and their aging parents, in keeping with that concept of doing unto others what they expect others to do unto them. Some of today's generation's people do not seem to realize that they too are on that unstoppable journey of aging. Relations between generations seem to be undergoing significant changes resulting from various factors. The basic factor seems to be the instability of the family unit. Fast spreading materialism with that yearning for excellence and acquisition of wealth as an end in itself, has taken the scope of concentration away from the family unit, and marriage is thus perceived as a mere contract between two individuals with no sacrificial working relationship. Is it surprising in such an atmosphere children, leave to the State or society, care of their aged parents? The duties and obligations are mutual. It would seem that parents have an obligation to see about their own survival on reaching old age. There are many precautions that could be taken so as not to be a burden on the children. Some parents would think that just because the children have been educated and given a certain status in life they owe it to the parents to inevitably look after them. On such a pattern of thinking, they would not provide for their old age with sufficient savings, insurance etc. The children, on the other hand, would get into a set pattern of thinking that if the parents brought them into the world it is their duty to give them all they ask for and that parents should not expect anything in return. This pattern of thinking seems to be taken for granted in this materialistic and highly commercial world where there seems to be a growing tendency for adult children to distance themselves from their parents and to delegate to third parties the natural obligation and the divine command made several millennia ago to honour one's father and mother. Should parents try to arrogate to themselves this honour without earning it with patience, prudence and good example? Elders today face varying situations some of which are their own seeking. Many have dissipated funds and are in a perilous state because their savings and pensions are insufficient due to inflationary tendencies. Some suffer from physical or mental maladies due to wanton negligence in taking proper health care. Some others feel they have outlived their useful age and ashamed that they require special care and are a burden to society. Some others would simply feel abandoned. These symptoms are very evident if one visits a home for elders where inmates are seen gazing at the gate yearning for some attention hoping that the incoming visitor is theirs! It is good for children to pause from their busy schedules to realize that some day they too may face these very same sentiments. Individualism, apart from community feelings and living for oneself, may seriously affect relations between different generations. The family plays a pivotal role in building that relay of intergenerational solidarity. It is aptly said that "there is no age when one ceases to be a father, mother, son or daughter. We also have a special responsibility not only towards those to whom we have given the gift of life, but also toward those from whom we have received that gift". It is tragic that some parents think that it is a drudgery to overlook children at times entrusted to their care. But at an age when one feels useless and abandoned, this becomes a blessing in disguise mentally and physically. |
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