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| Wednesday, 16 June 2004 |
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Do Lankan males play their role? Gender Dialogue by Nadira Gunatilleke At present do all Sri Lankan fathers play their role accurately and satisfactorily? This is a common question raised by mothers in all ages very often in present day society. Some married and single women's reply to this question is 'no'. Even some unbiased men who have good eye sight, sharp hearing ability and sensitivity may also say 'no'. Since the situation linked to numerous social problems that have a major impact on women, we have to discuss it in public and seek practical solutions. The existence of ignorant fathers has created a negative impact on Sri Lankan children. Who are these ignorant fathers? How do they act in day-to-day life? What type of impact do they have on their children and their mothers? One shocking story will tell the whole story about this grave social problem. This is a story told by a little child who was hospitalised for treatment. "I was hospitalised for a month. During this time I was looked after by my loving mother. Since I lost my appetite, she had to go home to cook something to feed me. Those days I was looked after by my father. One day while doing ward rounds the doctor asked a few questions from my father. He failed to answer even a simple question like 'What my age was'. He did not know how old I am. He was speechless and just looked at me. I felt very sad and frustrated. My own father does not know my age!", told the little child. When the mother came back she was informed of the incident which did not surprise her at all. "What she told will make you more frustrated ! That is his nature. He does not know the children's ages, their birthdays or which grade they are in. When doctors ask questions he just looks at the child and says nothing. But he knows all the latest developments in useless political field and other gossip about politicians and neighbours. He will do anything for outsiders but not for his own children or to myself. Once he expressed his dislike to spend money to treat my child. I always regret my past decisions but there is no turning back now with grown up children. My only hope for the future is my children. I want to give them the best things available," she said. That father is not the only Sri Lankan father who does not know how old his own child is. This is not a rare incident that took place in a remote area in Sri Lanka. This is an incident that is common. Anyone can witness such things in hospitals, clinics, primary schools and some other Government institutions which offer different services to the public. The situation is little different when it comes to some fathers in the younger generation. This change has taken place not because they are more concerned about their children but their wives (mothers of the children) are employed and have no time to do everything by themselves. Some of those men have to let their wives work because nothing is possible in the present day society without money. According to a group of educated working women some men want children just to prove their fertility. "Because of this reason they are very ignorant about their children. After birth they do not need them. "Once or twice they shout at them when they go against their commands during their adolescence and that is all. They think about their children only when they grow old and become feeble. Then they hope that their children will look after them and believe that they have to do it. But by this time it is too late for everything, they added. |
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