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| Thursday, 10 June 2004 |
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A funereal culture is on the march by Afreeha Jawad Significantly, the preference for private funerals is catching up fast like a wild bush fire. Should one perceive this transformation, most revealing are its multi-dimensional reasons. More importantly, its relation to a lack of absolute values is obvious. In many instances today you find people that attend funerals, on their return, making reference to the environs and even how the deceased looked like. Remarks such as the following reveal how hollow many people could be. 'Oh! he was looking all very dark and awful', 'Not much of a crowd no?', 'There was no room even to turn'. 'The house was so small', these among other utterances - so spiteful and sarcastic - you would not have missed out on at one time or the other. To speak badly of the dead, according to past belief, was to fall short of absolute values. Much emphasis was on respect for the dead. But then what followed in the aftermath of intense societal transformation is non accommodative of such sentiments. Not surprising then the great yearning for people to 'call it off' only in the company of immediate family and no other. Yet, all this is no passport to criticism after individual 'visa expiry'. More importantly it could be best used as benchmark for 'individual correction' - for purposes of self-development. Noteworthy also is the 'great celebration' that funerals have turned out to be. The unceasing flow of liquor, the gambling, the incessant chatter at such mournful and silent gatherings they once used to be, is all in bad taste. Countless instances of giggling, laughter, small talk and whatnot that follows a hearse have also been observed. Apparent is the absence of loud cries and wails with the widow being assisted by kith and kin - almost to the point of being carried, which if not resorted by the widow was seen in earlier times as hard-heartedness that later came to be a vain display of emotions. Sri Lankans now a nation of funeral goers display heightened vulgarity even taking time off official trappings to attend same. The added air of avoiding native language of 'Marana gedera yanawa' well substituted with 'funeral ekak' with the 'F' running amok in pronunciation shows the callous disregard for one's own language. The crowds that gather are most often not in anyway connected biologically or otherwise to the deceased. Attendance is decided on how useful a relation of the deceased has been to one - a wild display of reciprocity, in anticipation of future benefits and also an attempt towards mitigating whatever existing ill-will. Running a funeral parlour perhaps is more rewarding today than anything else. The range of funeral services offered is appalling. The most expensive one - something like over Rs. 100,000 - includes horses in attendance, uniformed personnel and the grand funeral march. Not enough the mad scramble for status in life, in death too the status mania keeps kicking and alive. Your chosen belief of funeral parlours being the flat dwellers' exclusive domain is sadly mistaken. So, as funerals turn multifaceted and multi-purpose, the march from hospital to grave is surely a most 'colourful' pageant. |
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