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| Wednesday, 7 April 2004 |
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Gender Dialogue: Women's inhumanity to women by Nadira Gunatilleke There is a very pathetic situation in Sri Lankan society where women harm and cause various problems for women. This `women against women' situation is not healthy. Therefore, it is very important to analyse this problem and take possible steps to curb this practice. From children to elders this `women against women' situation exist. When considering different segments of society, most of the time it is women who cut-throats and make trouble for other women. It was around 10.30 am and I was travelling from Colombo to Panadura in an intercity bus after consulting a doctor at a private hospital. The lady who sat next to me was crying. After some time I smiled with her and gently asked her whether she was sick. Then she turned to me and asked, where I get off. I told her who I was and why I was travelling in that bus. Then she began to relate her story. "I am married and I have a nine-year-old son and seven-year-old daughter. I am a housewife. My husband is a manager at a reputed bank. But at the moment he is living with another married woman. I begged him not to leave us but he treated me like dirt. At the moment I live with my son and my own parents who are very kind to me and my children. His mistress, who is one of his colleagues has three kids and they live with their father (her husband). I know my husband is wrong and I do not want him in my life again but I can't believe this. A married woman destroys another married woman's life just for lust! I consoled her telling that everything will be alright when the children grow up. But in my heart I was not sure about that. One evening I was at home relaxing with my family when one of my old friends called me to say hello. I was overjoyed to hear her voice but ended up feeling frustrated after she related her latest dilemma. She work for a reputed private telecommunication company as a customer care executive. "I was very interested in my work and my boss was very kind to me at the beginning. We had a very smooth relationship until two young girls joined our company. "We have small differences. They were from a highly urbanised background, fluent in English but had less qualifications, talents than me. From the beginning they hated me for my high qualifications, my way of dealing with customers which is approved by all. They tried their best to destroy me. They poisoned my boss with all possible lies. Gradually my boss started to avoid me and accused me wrongly. At the moment, I am seeking another job and I need your help", she said. I promised to help her wondering how women destroy one another. Once I was travelling in a staff service van. There was one working girl who worked as a secretary in a popular commercial institute. She was less educated than the others who travelled in the van. She is fair, big made and thinks that she is the prettiest girl in the world, who does the most distinguished job in the country. She always tried to get the attention of others by making trouble for them. She comes in the morning and gets on to the van murmuring bad things about others. She unfolds a seat and sits down blocking the way for others (whenever there are empty seats) and never moves an inch to give way to others. Everyday she has some sort of complaint about someone or something. She hates other women but is very friendly with the boys who travel with her and who always ridicule her behind her back. Someone can say that this type of incidents happens all over the world and it is natural but since Sri Lanka is a country with a rich cultural heritage it is pathetic to see this. Dear woman of today, may be you are one of the women who creates problems for other women; tomorrow it may be you who stands at the receiving end. Therefore, do not wait to understand the pain until you get it yourself. |
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