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| Tuesday, 30 March 2004 |
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Politics | |
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| Off the cuff : Let us listen to the Lion by The Monitor Sometimes I feel sorry for politicians and political parties, especially during election time. They have to come up with manifestos. They have to be creative about portraying themselves as THE candidate of the century or purchase creativity to do so. More than all this, they have to listen to all kinds of nonsense from both the well-meaning and the malicious. If unsolicited advice could be sold, they would probably make all the bucks they were intending to make, before even entering parliament. As MP-wannabes, they have no choice. Someone says, "listen buddy," and they listen. Or pretend to listen. And I am not talking about the voters and the help-karayas. They have to listen to all the special interest groups, the minorities and majorities and the let's-have-democracy types. Yes, a politician, in these times, is to be pitied. He has to satisfy all. And this time around, he has had to suffer a mouthful. A lion-sized mouthful too! I believe we can't be in a situation more sorry than this. I mean, today even a brewery feels righteous enough to offer advice to political parties on the whole gamut of issues that this election is about. When even a beer can adopt the lion as its brand name, I suppose nothing in this society is sacrosanct. In a way, this is as it should be. Why form any upadanas, anyway? Over the years, Lion Lager has come up with some catchy pay-off lines. "Is there a lion in you?" they ask, clearly tapping into Sinhala nationalist feelings. Doesn't fool anyone, but you can't help remembering "Lion" more than, say, Carlsberg. That's what advertising is about. The Sinhala version was much better: "apa sinha vansaye. oba?" (We are of the Lion clan/race. How about you?) The Sihala Urumaya ought to have used that line. This time they've gone a step further, and some might even thing, they've gone a step too far! The Sinhala newspapers carried a series of Lion ads, a campaign in itself in fact, considering that they were all election-related. I am not fooling myself. Writing about a Lion ad would itself constitute an advertisement for the product. Still, it is a nice entry point. Topical in these intoxicating days of campaign rhetoric and mudslinging and more than this, one just can't escape from the content, for body and message. The Lion portraits itself as some kind of omniscient political know-all; "api oba desa bala sitinnemu" (we are watching you), it tells the politician and the political party. "Don't dare engage in violence or any other kind of election malpractice. Don't make false promises, it warns. Be clear about your policies. No, beating about the bush now. Whether it be peace, the economy in general, law and order, education, health or transport, say it and do it", the Lion commands. What the Lion has said that not many have said before is that all political parties have to not just make promises, but clearly state a delivery date. The Lion has demanded a time-frame for the implementation of problem-solving strategies. I must grudgingly say, "Damn, this Lion is good!" It had to be the work of an exceptional copywriter, someone who has the pulse of the voter. I checked around and found it was Harith Gunawardena, aka "King Barnet" of Irida Divaina fame. No wonder, I told myself. I cut out these interesting ads, although I am not much of a beer person. I went through them one by one and tried to reduce them all to a single line. I couldn't help thinking that if there be such a one-liner, it had to be something along the following lines: "Vote for the principle, not the party, colour or candidate; vote not for yourself, but your country". After all, the ads are all signed off with the Lion logo, beneath which is this telling line: "Sinhaya obai". (You are the lion). Time we got that into our thick heads. We are the election. We are the media. We are the nation. We are its history. We are its future. I wouldn't advise anyone to go to the nearest wine store and buy a Lion lager, but there's absolutely no harm in paying heed to the Lion's words. The creature has something to say. We would do well to listen. A final note before we go to the polls Rajpal Abeynayuake said last Sunday that his friend had complained: "My whole paper has become a poster". True. Take any newspaper these days and one would be hard pressed to find any decent reading material. The Sinhala papers are the worst by far. I believe all newspapers should carry the following strap-line: "Our ugly mug version". It is not only the newspapers of course. One can't go in a bus without hearing the 'Virtues" of this or that politician, this or that party. You can't turn the TV on without having to see political parties bash each other. thanks to the Police Commission and a determined Elections Commissioner, politicians have fled the streets. We are no longer greeted by a gallery of smirks belonging to know-alls who have all the answers. Dissolve parliament and one thing is guaranteed; saints of all hues will start creeping out of the woodwork. This time the saints have left the walls alone. They have turned newspapers, radio stations and televisions into walls and hoardings. Trust the saints to be innovative. And rich. paper wraps stone, stone blunts scissors, scissors cut paper. Here we go round the mulberry bush. You get the idea. Anyway, they've had their two months and even though watching TV, listening to the radio and reading a newspaper have become a tad tedious, all that will end on Friday. On Saturday, we will have a new set of MPs. There will be winning saints and defeated saints. Given time the devil in them will come out and we will get to see them in their true colours, true uniforms. Those who voted out of hope, will realise how wise they have been in investing hope in a particular candidate or party. Those who voted honestly believing that their vote was for the country, will get to assess how much of their patriotism was shared by the candidate/party of their choice. This election is not difficult to call in terms of who will secure the most number of seats. Whether the "Winners" will get enough is another question, not least of all because the entry of the monks has upset what was otherwise a clean-cut equation. In a country where we don't lack in king-makers, we will not know who will get to wear the crown until the day of the coronation. A hung parliament, come to think of it, is not a tragedy. At least those who backed the winners will retain some say. If governments are out of order, an opposition with veto power is a blessing. We could obtain a "do no harm" scenario. Are the people the ultimate losers? Not at all. Those who voted for the party that lost can strut around for six years (Sorry, two. Or maybe one, who knows?) saying "Don't blame me, I didn't vote for this government". Those who voted for the winners can say "ape aanduwa" with a sense of pride. For two months. We have had our moments. We have seen the antics of politicians. We have laughed. There's no guarantee that anyone will or can deliver the goods. But still, let us all go early to the polling station. Let us all vote. If democracy is a joke in this country, let there be no half-measurers about it. If the joke is on us, they let us laugh all the way to the polling booth and back. Let us get one thing straight. Until polling closes on April 2, we will not just have a vote, but a valuable vote. After polling closes, our value depreciates instantly. It settles at zero. Some politicians might say "thank you", some might remember, but by and large, we will cease count after the vote is counted. This is all what us voting suckers will get. We don't have the power of recall, after all. One final note on this election. I too have a vote. Yes, even the members of that shady organisation called Paffrel have that privilege. Kingsley Rodrigo will vote for the UNF, not because he likes Ranil Wickremesinghe, but because the TNA is not contesting Colombo. He will vote for the proxy's proxy. I am willing to wager my last floating/devalued rupee on this. The Monitor has a vote. The Monitor has a sense of cultural identity, cultural belonging. The Monitor cannot vote for any party that has done its all to destroy this identity and everything that goes with it, on its own and by supporting the worst terrorists this world has known. Let me leave it at that. |
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