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| Thursday, 1 January 2004 |
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If only those resolutions stick... by Lionel Wijesiri Among my circle of friends, I reign as the undisputed king of the broken New Year resolutions. On 1st January last year, (like so many times earlier) in front of a group of friends, I dictated a number of resolutions. Today, I have lost track of what those resolutions were, yet I remember a few of them such as doing more exercise and rational eating - computerise books and documents in my study den - start the book I wanted to write (this, incidentally was in my resolution list for the past 5 years). They all failed, and not because I wasn't sincere when I made them. I was sincere and I really meant them, and then I did . . . Absolutely nothing. Oh sure, the resolution stood firm for a few weeks, and its memory returned throughout the year, mostly to make me feel guilty and ineffectual. But I never did anything about it because I didn't have a plan. All I had were meaningless expressions. This year is going to be different. Only this time, my resolution would be to figure out a way to keep resolutions. Significance Somebody asked me recently whether I am aware of the origin of New Year resolutions. Perhaps he asked me because I am presently working on a series of articles on word origin. I could not find much. The meaning of resolutions on New Year's Day - the world's most celebrated holiday - is not so clear. It looks as if the tradition is as old as New Year's celebrations. The Babylonians celebrated New Year's Day over four thousand years ago, although their celebration was in March rather than in January, coinciding with the spring planting of crops. Resolutions were a reflection of the Babylonians' belief that what a person does on the first day of the New Year will have an effect throughout the entire year. In 153 BC the Roman senate declared January 1 to be the beginning of the New Year. Traditions of the season included the making of New Year's resolutions, which also dates back to the early Babylonians. Popular modern resolutions might include the promise to lose weight or quit smoking, but the early Babylonians' most popular resolution was to return borrowed farm equipment. On this day, many people remember last year's achievements and failures and looked forward to the promise of a new year, of a new beginning. But this celebration and reflection was the result of more than an accident of the calendar. New Year's has a deeper significance. What is it? We take stock and plan new courses of action to better our lives. This is best seen in one of the most popular customs and the key to the meaning of New Year's: that is, making resolutions. Values are not only physical and external. They also can be psychological. Many New Year's resolutions reveal that people want to better themselves by improving psychologically. For example, look at your own resolutions over the years. Haven't they included such vows as: be more patient with your children, improve your self-esteem, and be more emotionally open with your wife? Such resolutions express the moral ambitiousness of a person wanting to improve his self and life. What then is the philosophic meaning of New Year's resolutions? Every resolution you make on this day implies that you are in control of yourself, that you are not a victim fated by circumstance, controlled by stars, owned by luck, but that you are an individual who can make choices to change your life. You can learn statistics, ask for that promotion, fight your shyness, and search for that marriage partner. Your life is in your own hands. Study A study, conducted by Elizabeth Miller, a professor in psychology, and Alan Marlatt, director of Addictive Behaviours Research Center in the University of Washington, sought to understand the factors that best predict success in keeping New Year's resolutions. "The keys to making a successful resolution are a person's confidence that he or she can make the behavior change and the commitment to making that change," says Miller. In addition, the study indicates, "resolutions are a process, not a one-time effort that offer people a chance to create new habits." Even if people are successful, they need to follow-up on their behaviour over the years, she adds. To be successful with your own resolutions, Marlatt, who has studied the subject for more than 20 years, suggests: Have a strong initial commitment to make a change. Have coping strategies to deal with problems that will come up. Keep track of your progress. The more monitoring you do and feedback you get, the better you will do. Sure-fire ingredients for setting yourself up for resolution failure, he adds, include: Not thinking about making resolutions until the last minute. Reacting on New Year's Eve and making your resolutions based on what's bothering you or is on your mind at that time. Framing your resolutions as absolutes by saying, "I will never do X again." Opinions I asked a number of local intellectuals what they think about New Year resolutions. And, what they would recommend to genuine enthusiasts. Dr. Ajth de Silva, a family physician has this much to say: "There will be a time or a period of time when you feel like giving up your resolution, or you even slip a bit. Don't beat yourself up just get back on track immediately. It is a long process to incorporate new habits into your lifestyle, but these changes are life-long, and so must be the process of change. If you find that you can't make a change alone, try to find some help. And make sure that the people who are around you know that you are making this effort. Ask them for their help by asking them not to offer you sweets at work, or making sure they offer you something besides a beer to drink. Revisit your original goals, and your original reasons for making a resolution. If you haven't reached your goals, you might have set them too high, lower them and try again. Don't wait for the next New Year to get started up again, reassess where you are with the change, for instance how many cigarettes are you smoking everyday, reassess your plan, see where it might not have been the best plan, and recommit". Asela Gomez, a management consultant says: "As you welcome in the New Year, your thoughts may turn to the goals you're going to set yourself for the year. Spending time thinking about and writing down your goals will get your New Year off to a flying start. But stop! Before you think about what you want to achieve next year, I encourage you first to review the past year. Take a look at what you've achieved this year to give yourself a firm basis, inspiration and a feeling of success to think about your goals for the next year. Taking stock and reviewing the past year is often forgotten and yet is an essential step to being successful. In the quest to achieve more, we often forget how far we've come. This continuous driving forward can leave us feeling that there's something missing in our success". Back to basics Today, we should go back to basics. With everything that's happened in 2003, this seems like a good day to reconnect, recalibrate, and reassess. New Year's resolutions are more than a quaint tradition - they're one of the ways we find direction in our lives. This is our one chance, all year, to set in stone what we want. For this brief, shining moment, the slate is clear, the possibilities are endless, and the universe is listening. In your mind take yourself back to January 1st last year and ask yourself, How far have I come last year? What have I achieved? What have I improved about myself? What problems and challenges have I overcome? In what way have I grown personally? I invite you to reflect on and acknowledge your achievements for this year, and harness this feeling of success to be ready to set your goals this year. As final words of encouragement to resolution makers, let me quote Marlatt once again. "Take credit for success when you achieve a resolution, but it is a mistake to blame yourself if you fail. Instead, look at the barriers that were in your way. See how you can do better the next time and figure out a better plan to succeed. You do get to try again and can make behavior changes throughout the year, not only at New Year's." So what are your New Year's resolutions? I asked a friend what her New Year's resolution for the New Year would be. She thought very seriously for a while and then replied "Breathing." An admirable goal, but hopefully not one she'll have to struggle to keep. |
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