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All religions have professed the need for good in deed and thought. If we look in to any book written on religion or listen to sermons by numerous religious leaders, they all preach the good results that can be had by leading a life that do not come into conflict with other people's thoughts or their beliefs. But what is happening today is quite contrary to what is being expected of society. Why?

by Prasad Abu Bakr

A recent news report concerning a double murder involving a brother and sister of the same family stated that the 15 year old boy who was supposed to have committed the crime as saying that he was driven to it on the advice of his mother.

According to the boy the victims were neighbours of his family and never got along with them owing to a land dispute, which was brewing over the years, even before he was born in fact. His mother had always told him that it was his duty to take revenge and a lesson had to be taught. A current South Indian television drama shows how the mother keeps nagging her only son to carry out certain acts against her relatives as revenge.

There are many movies based upon similar themes encouraging children and young adults to take revenge from people who come in to conflict under trying circumstances. Surprisingly most of these adults who lead their offspring to do these hideous crimes are adults that follow certain precepts and religious beliefs. Religious views or any other advice becomes a way of life only if we look in to the message that is being conveyed within its vision. Blindly going in to a place of worship as a matter of habit will not serve any purpose. Children are made to accompany their parents to places of their religious beliefs as a matter of duty or habit, or as a matter of receiving favours from God.

There goes a saying that leading a person on the wrong path is easier than showing him the ways of committing good deeds, that people are in favour of criminal acts being used against their opponents than using the method of discussion to solve their differences. The surprising notion is that most of these people are not necessarily from the underworld as we are made to believe. In today's context the underworld is being hired or used by most of the so-called 'good citizens' patronising the arts, heading religious committees and pretending to stand out as an example to society reflecting upon their meritorious acts.

It is also commonplace that most people 'give' to receive something more. This is purely true when it comes to 'handouts' to beggars or the destitute. Religions profess different theories in this connection. While one says that it can place you in a better position in your next birth, another points out that the giver may receive two folds of what is given, if it is given during a certain period of time which religious observances are made. Some encourage to give for a trip to heaven while others plainly say one has to give generously to receive similarly. Giving for humanitarian reasons is scarce, in fact very few people even look at their `under privileged receivers' when they dispense that coin on to that stretched out hand while walking past them on the pavement.

Over the years society at large has criticised certain countries for formulating their own doctrine and subjecting their citizens to carry out its percepts ignoring the fact we as democratic nations are losing our grip at maintaining law and order.

Law enforcement agencies of most so-called democracies are thumbed by power brokers, religion is used as a veil to cover the inability of governments to deliver minority aspirations or alleviating poverty. Ethnic violence and religious disharmony is very often fanned by individuals to maintain their power base rather than mete out justice where it is deserved most.

Destruction is carried out in the name of religion and condoned by religious leaders, while thousands elsewhere lay down their lives in the process of trying to figure out ways of replacing one religious monument from another. The scenario is watched and absorbed by young minds the world over. To them it is immaterial who is right or wrong. The only thing they will remember is the violence that they witnessed at such an early age.

Killings, rape and arson will become a normality a few years from now, not that it is far off at present! People have already stopped raising their eyebrows at these incidents already; especially children. Children today are mobilised more through mass media than by what they learn at home or at school. Unlike in the past they need to be closely monitored by their guardians as there are many more `tall' hurdles today's youth have to jump over in comparison to the casual few they had to in the past.

Even though parents and teachers have even a bigger role to play in guiding children through their youth today than ever before, whether this fact has been realised by present day adults is questionable when one takes a look around at what is happening. This week it was reported that students of two leading schools have got involved in street fights with some of them ending up in hospital for treatment.

Similar incidents are rampant in society signalling off the necessity for us adults to take a second glance as why all this is happening. Are children disciplined at the wrong age? Child therapists say that most parents tend to bypass the actual stage of disciplining a child which is between around 5 to 12 years, diciplining today does not stand for the same meaning it did 20 years ago.

Parents are called to take a bolder stand at sorting out the many complexities that settle within the young minds of their children sometimes having to explain in plain language the `indecent' truth. The 'indecent truth' of drug peddling and why it is done, how it can creep into their school bags through couriers who can even be senior students in their school.

The `indecent truth' of being molested by adults in the pretext of being cuddled, not necessarily by outsiders as much as the ones that are closer to you. The `indecent truth' that one's caste, and creed are superior from that of your neighbours and many more, that can build up confidence in our children and warn them as to what they should look out for as they approach towards becoming independent adults.

But in most cases all this is much easier said than done. Looking back at their own up-bringing parents seem to withdraw from opening up to their children, thinking that they may find out for themselves one day. What happens invariably most of the time is that outsiders are left with options to drive in the wrong message into your child's mind, leaving him to be exploited.

Most families spend their evenings watching television, mostly with a dumb note of silence. It is best to make use of this situation to air your views, may be concerning an advertisement that you think is vulgar or acts of crime against society.

This can invariably lead to a dialogue that can also give you a hint of their point of view and how they respond to them, making room for you to correct them if there is any wrong thinking or assumption.

The spectrum in society for parents and teachers to play the role of healing companions is vast in today's context. It is a bigger role they have to play and it is not as it used to be where mothers were saddled with the responsibility of guiding children in the right path. Today it has become a joint responsibility of both parents to spend more time with their children even if they are both employed, scaling the walls of professional success, which is also important.

One should take into consideration the well-being of ones children and their personality development, a major part of it which lies at ones own disposition.

As much as one would want to be an outstanding success in his or her profession, due consideration should be given to the prospects of leading your retired life with children that will have no complexes. And, they will respect you for helping them to lead a life that has not come into conflict with other people's thoughts and beliefs.

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