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by Prasad Abu Bakr

A child is always open to danger unless under the protective eye of somebody who really cares. All children and the young of other different species invariably come under the protection of their adults during their very early age. Losing one's mother under any circumstances can put a child in a very vulnerable situation. Children can react to such a situation in a very complex manner. Extreme violence towards society is one of them. Can this be an unseen reason as to why there is more and more unrest among youth today?

To most children early demise of their mother, though may create imbalances will make the child cope with it as he grows up to a reasoning age. But the thought that she has left him may develop mixed reactions. If it's divorce? Then it will be looked at differently as they mature but still with some resentment settling in the young mind.

Resentment will play a major role depending on how closest relations of the child have handled the situation. Haven't we met certain individuals that react quite contrary to what they are expected of, constantly grudging on every issue, always suspicious of other peoples motives and having difficulty in appreciating others' success are some commonly visible traits, specially in working situations of individuals with unhappy childhoods. They will always scrutinise further of your intentions of something that you may say with no ulterior motives.The tendency to belittle others is also seen as a trait in such adults, specially when it's directed towards individuals not so closely connected to them.

These individuals can be highly promiscuous during their adult life as they can mistake sensuous pleasure for caring and affection. So it will be a string of unsuccessful liaisons long before they settle down.

Today, adults are perturbed when they see their own children rebel against them. It may be too late even if they decide to look back and pin down certain errors of their own as good enough reasons for their children's behaviour. But it is never too late for younger parents to learn from these experiences when it comes to bringing up their own children, shedding aside any resentment that has grown with them.

It is best that they try to reason out why their parents decided to do what they did which in turn had an effect on their childhood. Trying to understand and placing yourself in their situation at the time should help you to see things in better perspective and make you more aware of how to cope with your own personal problems. Doing so you may be able to minimise the effects they can have on your own children.

The most disturbing incidents are reported from rural areas, where children grow up in much more independent surroundings as they grow up. But reports of children [specially girls in their teens] falling prey to young male adults is increasing at a pace.

They are victimised by their own kith and kin or most trusted neighbours. The most common element that is clearly evident in most such cases are that these children are isolated by their mothers who have left them behind to earn better wages in Middle Eastern countries. Their intentions are also justified in comparison to the kind of urbanisation that has been taking place in our country since the mid seventies. Even village children who once lived simple lives surrounded by what their villages had to offer have been brutalised by the invasion of fancy goods that they could never be able to afford if not for their mothers abandoning them to flee to a faraway country to earn the kind of money that can afford such luxuries.

There is a large number of children loitering the streets of Colombo. Some are born into poverty and others are dragged into it by parents who are drug addicts. Most of these children grow up to be street - wise and invade their territory in different ways as pickpockets or drug peddlers. Only less than a fraction will survive to change their lifestyles. A certain amount of effort is brought about by authorities to round up street children and hand them over to Homes but they say that they are at a loss when the mother turns up to claim the child. What invariably happens is that the child is taken away by the [said] mother and re-introduced into whatever trade the child was involved in at the time of being found by the

Authorities.

The menace of employing children as servants is still rampant lurking under the sleepy eyes of the authorities that will open only when an incident occurs. Children are probably burnt, beaten, molested and subjected to a variety of tortures almost as a daily occurrence. But in a society where crime is commonplace these incidents are probably going unnoticed, owing to bigger headlines created in the media pertaining to similar matters.

So what is the cure? Are we already immune to such inhuman deeds to such an extent that we are going to turn a blind eye at them.

Children are always the beginning to a whole new generation, a whole era can reflect upon on how adults of that era were treated as children by their grown ups. If we sit to listen further, the backlash we feel today is a result of 'not paying attention to our children's needs.

And it will continue to grow into bigger proportions as we proceed with even more neglect and refusal to listen.

Whenever you see a child in peril do not stop to think twice before you help because its not your own. We are the ones who can help them to reach out and surf towards a whole new world that's awaiting them to achieve their goals.

It is the duty of law makers to create an environment suitable for children to grow in.

It is the duty of the media to highlight unbecoming issues that concern juveniles and make society aware of them. Advertising agencies too can help by creating campaigns that can address this need, waking up the general public to hazards faced by children, in homes, schools and outside them. It is becoming very evident that if we do not make this place a heaven for them, it is going to be hell for us.

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