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Facts are Stubborn by Anton Gunasekera

In our maiden weekly column (June 24,Tuesday),we drew the attention of our many and varied, concerned and discerning readers to increasing public apathy in tipping off Law Enforcement on committed or impending criminal acts,most of which are rooted within the secret domain of the highly-organized underworld.

A spontaneous and positive response has come our way from an islandwide "Watchdog" macro-organization of dauntless, concerned intellectual elites and prominent public figures who have banded themselves to form the 'Public Officers Cultural Society';its battlecry-Concerned Citizens! Let's Help Law Enforcement to Eradicate Crime!'.Towards this end,the Society has already drawn up a 'Plan of Action' for immediate implementation,along with the moral support of responsible citizenry.

The preamble to the Plan: " Harness the unstinted cooperation of all political parties,Clergy, community leaders and non-government organizations to "eradicate heartburning murders,burglaries, sex abuses,juvenile delinquencies,bribery and corruption and such other anti-social acts."

In a signed letter to this DN Column, the Society's President, Dr. Chandra Perera, has stated that the continuing efforts made by the DN in particular, and other local media in general, to curb crime have won the appreciation of 'senior Police officers who have been consistently soliciting the cooperation of the general public to combat this surge of social ills.' He and the Society's Secretary General, S.T.Pathiraja, have stated that a Trust Fund has already been established at the Office of the Public Trustee,through voluntary public contributions to give a fillip to any person or group of persons who provide provable evidence to Law Enforcement,and have thereby resulted in convictions.

"Such informants would be ceremonially awarded medals, shields, cups, conferred certificates of public appreciation and financial donations to mark their heroism and fearlessness, in the face of intimidation and threats to life and property'.

The Supreme Advisory Board comprises Sarvodaya Chief, Dr. A.T. Ariyaratne, University Professors Siri Gunasinghe, K.N.G. Dharmadasa, S. Sandrasekeram, Bertram Bastiampillai and K.A. Jayaratne as Patrons, writer Gamini Punchihewa and seven senior medical practitioners, who as Vice-presidents,serve as provincial representatives of the Society.

The President has concluded in his letter that the breeding ground for the inculcation of discipline among growing children is undeniably the home.

In that context,the Society urges parents of all communities and religious faiths and philosophies to join hands with the Society's islandwide network of representatives ' to inculcate good conduct from the early stages of life of their children and to enhance parent awareness of this grave responsibility.' Details from the Secretary General- Phone: 033.88977.

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Medical game

There is a harmonious blend of amiably amicable "you scratch my ribs-I'll scratch yours" to ensure the healthy nurturing of peaceful medical coexistence at one of Colombo metropolis' pre-Independence private hospitals, which connotes an Arabic connection of yesteryears.

This highly questionable episode is backed by incontrovertible documentary evidence and an eyewitness account by the wife of an elderly patient.

June 27: Thirty patients,the majority of who are females, have been given appointments for medical consultations, commencing 4.30 pm.

All are "Lung" patients-congested, messed-up capillaries. Patient No. 1 is coughing incessantly.The 'Lung' Consultant (L.C) makes a hurried entry to his consultation cubicle,exactly at 5.45 p.m. Only an hour and half behind time. Patients yawn in unison as a sign of relief. Every single patient carries with him/her, a Reference Note(Re.no) from the his/her area "family doctor". It's signed and sealed by the pupil to be delivered to Guru.

Enter No.1, escorted by his near-sobbing wife. Patient forcibly suppresses his imminent cough.

L.C.-"I get the smell of liquor. How many smokes daily, man?

Wife: "No, doctor. Once he was dead drunk and nearly conked, about two years ago.

After that,he gave up even Church wine.Now he is warning the priest to refrain from wine.

L.C:"Is he a heavy smoker?" Wife: You're telling me. He lights one after the other. I call him 'lit butt'. Insomnia is not the word, doc. Coughing till dawn-and I can't get a wink of sleep."

L.C. (sheds a pathetic look at the dumb patient):" Either you settle down to immediate medication, or... get ready for a slow, painful death. Could be two to three years from now...or maybe, earlier - mark my words. I'm giving you one phial each of 'via-mouth' gaseous spray inhaler, one for SOS inhaling when you are about to stop breathing and another liquid nasal spray. Now, go to Demonstration Room-007. The staff will give you a practical demo. "Consultation Bill lists "Clinic Charges- Rs. 150".

Patient to wife: "We never went to a room which indicates "Clinic?".

Wife: That is the charge for "Demonstration Room", you dud! Old couple enters Room 007. Five Demos, tie and pin, rush in a bunch to grab the prescription from the wife's hand. Four depart to their seats in sombre mood. The 'all smiles' demo directs the patient to watch him inhaling.

From a corner of his exploring eye, the patient notices five fat, belted leather bags lined up against wall, hardly to be seen. He sheds an alternating sarcastic smile at both bag and demo.

Demo:" Are you watching me or the wall?"

Patient: "I'm just wondering. Four decades ago, I used to carry a leather bag just like that, while working as a pharmaceutical representative for Atral Laboratories, Portugal. Are the five of you doing now - what I was doing in those distant days? Don't tell me you're from five different pharmaceutical firms?

Demo: "Sir, how many cigs do you inhale for a day?"

Patient: "Maybe around eight. And, that's only when I go for ablutions or write some letters."

Demo: "Try to cut it down to about four. It's good for your health"

Patient: "No Sir!. I won't do anything to spoil your game. If all these smoker's cough victims cut down their smoke, to whom are you going to demonstrate. And the Company's sales which might hit your purse.?"

By the way, how did your other four colleagues fare today ?"

Medical professional to Pharmaceutical professional: "I prescribe your pharmaceutical product. You demonstrate' my staff"-like, y'know. But only if my samples stock is delivered to my Residence Consultation Cubicle. Got my message clear?

Yes Sir. Very much Yes Sir.

"Oh! what a tangled web we weave-when first we mean to deceive". Twenty nine, perhaps, never saw the half-hidden Med. Rep"leather bags, or knew their contents. But one among them knew his onions. Patient No. 1. Who? Your "Facts are Stubborn" Columnist. Wow! How some play the medical game in neat connivance. 

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rehabilitated

If it's stubborn fact that 'Habits die hard', here's a piece on middle-aged travelling salesman Piyawansa (Piya) - alcoholic cum tobacco addicts, noon till midnight. Despite his vehement protests, Piya was literally gagged and imprisoned in a suburban rehab.centre by his wife and mother-in-law, while in his 'unusual' self.

During his month-long forced stay, his daily decoctions and the whirl of grey smoke from a chimney outside his window, constantly brought back his twin urge. Seemingly rehabilitated, the Centre's Medical Director (M.D.) issued him a fitness note which certified that he was fully rid of Satan's two evils and 'now fit as a fiddle' to resume work in earnest.

His two nagging female escorts, overjoyed by his rapid recovery, were leading him out the doorway, when he spotted the M.D. in his glass cubicle. Piya took one ferocious glance at the smiling M.D., then thundered: "I suffered here till this very moment without my bosom pal, Satan. Don't you ever cross my path, when I'm at Chicko's pub tonight!"

"Oh! What a tangled web we weave - when first we mean to deceive."

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