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Second best

by Robert Clements

The captain of the Indian cricket team, the coach and the vice captain sat huddled in the dressing room somewhere in New Zealand. "Sachin's not playing very well," whispered the coach.

"He seems terribly upset," said the vice captain. "He was tossing and turning in his sleep last night. I heard him shout out once or twice." "What did he shout?" asked the captain.

"He shouted, 'I am the best. I am the best." "Of course he is the best,' said the coach. "What makes him think he's not?" "This," said the captain, holding out a copy of an old newspaper. "It says Sachin is second best." "What nonsense," said the coach. "Who dares say such a lie?" "Wisden ," said the captain.

"And who does the Wisden list say is the best?" asked the coach.

"Don Bradman," whispered the vice captain reading from the paper.

"Ah they are talking about all time cricket," said the coach breathing a little easier.

"But Sachin wants to be the best in the world," said the vice captain.

"He is now," said the coach.

"But not for all time," said the captain.

"Tell him Bradman is dead," said the coach. "You can't beat a dead man." "He knows," said the captain. "But if we don't think of something the Kiwi's will beat the daylights out of us. I am sure they purposely put this in the paper to get at Sachin...!" "Yeah, like they got some of us fined at the airport for wearing dirty shoes," said the vice captain. "Spoilt our game didn't it?" "What do we do?" whispered the coach.

"We'll tell him Bradman never played any one dayers," said the vice captain. "That he is the best one day player." "Wisden also says that he is only the second best one day player," said the captain.

" But Bradman never played one day cricket," insisted the coach.

"Its not Bradman," said the captain looking at the paper.

"Then who is?" asked the coach.

"Viv Richards," said the captain. "Viv is rated by Wisden as being the best one day batsmen in the world." "Let Wisden prove it," said the coach angrily. "We'll have a competition between Viv and Sachin." "Richard's has retired from cricket," said the captain.

"What do we do?" asked the coach again helplessly.

"Who is the best bowler? Is he past or present?" asked the vice captain suddenly.

"Its Murali," said the captain. "You mean Sachin could try for best bowler?" "We could have a competition between Muralitharan and him," said the coach.

"But Murali is an excellent bowler,' said the captain uncomfortably.

"No problem," said the coach, "We'll hold the competition in Australia and I'll get Darrel Hair and Emerson to stand as umpires, with Mc Quillan officiating as the match referee, that way Murali will be accused of chucking and Sachin will be adjudged the best bowler in the world..!" "Thank God," said the vice captain, "I couldn't have stood another sleepless night..!"

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