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| Monday, 18 November 2002 |
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The cleaning woman was the first one who discovered it. She immediately told the head housekeeper who phoned the front office manager, who called a computer wizard. They all entered the room Bill Gates had been staying in, before he left for America. They stared at the computer he had left behind. It was not like anything they had ever seen. "Its an Astro-Comp", said the whiz kid as he sat down in front of the computer. "What's an astro-comp?" asked the cleaning woman as she mopped the area around the bed. "Leave the bed alone", snapped the manager. "We want to leave it just the way it is, so that people can see where Mr. Gates slept". "Just like some people who have not cleaned the loo where Michael Jackson peed in?" asked the cleaning woman. "By the way I asked, what's an Astro-Comp?" "It predicts the future", said the whiz kid importantly. "Wonderful!" exclaimed the housekeeper as she winked romantically at the manager. "I want to know whether the man who says he loves me will divorce his wife and marry me?" "I don't think this computer predicts such mundane things", said the manager quickly. "Find out the fate of the elections in Gujarat" They all watched as the whiz kid typed in the question. "It says that the Election Commission will win hands down and that Lyngdoh will be the new Chief Minister". "What about Tamilnadu?" asked the cleaning woman. "What will happen to the anti-conversion law?" "The computer says that Veerappan will be arrested for trying to forcibly convert Karunanidhi into a bandit. He will be sentenced to twenty years for using sandal wood as allurement". "What a wonderful computer", gushed the housekeeper again, nudging the manager affectionately, "will I be able to go to Kashmir for a honeymoon?" "No problem about accommodation in Kashmir", read out the computer whiz kid. "Soon there will be thousands of rooms available, as all the jails will be emptied of all political prisoners". "Oh what a wonderful computer", said the housekeeper as she hugged the manager. "I don't want to stay in a jail", said the manager gruffly. "You will soon have to', said a voice behind, and the manager's wife entered the room. "Once I file for bigamy". "The computer is beeping", cried the cleaning woman as she and the housekeeper and the manager and his wife crowded round the Astro-Comp." " There's a message coming", said the whiz kid. "It must be very important, if it's for Mr. Gates," said the manager as he untangled himself from the housekeeper and tried to put a hand around his angry wife. "What does it say?" asked the housekeeper, trying to hug the manager, who was trying to hug his wife. "It says", said the whiz kid as he squinted into the screen, "that Melinda will not kiss Bill when he returns to her tonight". "Why?" asked the housekeeper and the managers wife together. "Because", said the cleaning woman as she came out of the bathroom, "Billy forgot to brush his teeth, see, he left his toothpaste behind..!" [email protected] |
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