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Out of focus by Nimanthi Perera-Rajasingham

As I walked to the shop at the top of my road, I glanced at a newspaper that had the killing of the two children by the bus driver at Mattumagala as its headlines. The woman next to me saw me glance at it and started commenting:

"Yes, look at what they do to our children. These bus drivers simply kill them without a care. And our people, what do they care, they will make a big fuss today, but tomorrow they will forget and nothing will change.

The Government will appoint another commission and that is all. Only the mothers will grieve for the loss of their children."

She, the shopkeeper, and I continued to chat about the incident for a while.

The woman kept repeating that the mothers would bear the pain and suffering for the lost lives. What about the father, I wanted to ask her.

As I reflected on the conversation later, I realized the collocation of women and children in general in many societies, as in many constitutions.

Reading newspaper articles on this incident, I noted that the bus-driver (a man) was seen as the villain while the children and their mothers were seen clearly as the victims of such situations.

As I watched news telecasts of the mobs that pelted stones at passing vehicles, I realized that the mobs consisted of men being violent on the streets, causing havoc.

Taking into consideration the fact that last week we celebrated Children's Day, it is important to note that women and children are placed in one category, with men in another. Often pictures show the mother and child together as if this were natural. Even when children are photographed in classrooms, the teacher alongside was always female.

Is this link between women and children a necessary and natural one? Simply because women have the biological capacity to bear children, are they the natural caregivers to children?

Let me consider other situations where women and children are linked together.

One such situation is when media reinforces a woman's nurturing capacity.

Often a mother and child are placed together while the father/husband is separated, distant and is only around after work.

The link is further reinforced by the fact that many baby-care products depict the mother and child together.

When it comes to feeding the children, looking after them when they are ill, washing their clothes, women are placed in this role.

The placement of women and children is similar in discourses around war.

Often among internally displaced persons, women and children are bracketed together as victims. Both categories are seen as powerless, needing support and as suffering as a result of violence.

While this is often true, is there a danger in positing them in these ways? The woman I spoke to at the shop did not for a moment doubt the natural bond between mother and child.

While most women still see their primary role today as being mothers and caretakers, does such a simplified connection create problems for us?

One such problem, in automatically linking the two groups together, is that it ignores that fact that children are minors who need protection, while women are adults with the capacity to protect themselves.

While it is true that women are often victims in war situations, to further reinforce them into this category may also mean that governmental and non-governmental institutions deprive them of agency and the capacity to act meaningfully to change their lives. Women are not then placed in an equal position along with men as equal citizens of a state, but rather as children who need to be taken care of.

Does the link between children and women on one side and men on the other create a binary that reinforces gender stereotypes? Under such definitions men are violent (soldiers, bus drivers, rapists, employers) while women and children are victims (internally displaced, the violated, underpaid employees).

We know from experience that such stereotypes do not always hold true. Women have links with violence, as when mothers use corporal punishment against children.

Furthermore, women who do not wish to fulfil stereotypical roles are branded as deviants of society. There are many women who do not desire to fulfil such roles and prefer a career before family. Are these women then chastised for their preferences? Is this fair?

Linking women and children together has not always been negative however.Historically in Sri Lanka, the role of motherhood has sometimes given women legitimacy and power. Take for instance the Mothers' Front in Sri Lanka during the '80s that came together to retaliate against the abduction of children by the state.

Women protested against the harsh treatment of their children, and demanded that they be returned home.

Women took to the streets carrying photographs of their loved ones, making public demonstrations of grief over the killings of their sons.

This is the case in Colombia where mothers from all areas of the country demanded an end to war and a return of their children.

"We do not have children to send them to war," women claimed, asking for a peaceful, political settlement to violence.

In the past, the connection has affected the improvement of children's rights.

When institutions fight against the trafficking of women, young girls forced to prostitution are also spoken of, and the abuse of young boys is noted.

The linking of women and children further reinforces a fact that feminists often attempt to stress, that fighting for women's rights means fighting for human rights.

It is simply necessary not to always assume that women and children are innocent victims of society.

Feminists have often commented on the fact that women who have been victims of war have also transformed their lives to become independent decision-makers. Even as the peace process continues, we need to look to women as beyond simple victims of war and violence, to decision-makers whose voices should be part of the peace package to come.

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