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| Friday, 20 September 2002 |
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Weapon inspectors The twenty weapons inspectors who had not been allowed to enter Iraq and over whom all the controversy was about, stood in group formation and stared with dismay at Hans, their chief , "Iraq has just said they will allow us to enter their country," said the chief with a scowl. There was a howl of protest from the assembled inspectors. "That Saddam shud be shot in da belly for spoilin' ma' 'olidays," grumbled an American inspector, "he can't jus' tell us to come and go when he bloomin' pleases! Thinks he's a bluddy king or sumpin? Tell the chimp to brin' his weapons yere and we'll inspect them for 'im, wun we have the ruddy time!" There was a cheer from his buddies but they stopped as their chief raised his hand. " One of the first jobs we will have to do is to test Iraq's motives," said Hans. "How d'we do dat?" asked the same inspector. "Simple," said a seasoned inspector, "we jus test dem till they cant be tested farther." "How d'we do dat?" asked the same fellow. "Simple, jus' make Saddam so angry dat dey 'e'll do sumpin' stupid." "Like maybe 'is picture in Baghdad?" "You got it," said the senior man. "dat dere could be a serious test for Saddam." Hans smiled at his men. "Secondly we got to see that they make practical arrangements for us to visit the sites." " I nid a stretch limo for my arrangemun,' said the African American. "I could do with a couple of belly dancing secretaries." "My stretch limo shud ave my gin an tonic." "An my secretary should wuk overtime." The chief inspector looked at his men happily. "I see that you chaps are all set to get back to Iraq." he said. "I hope dey won' accuse me of spying again?" said another man with an army haircut. "Last time I jus had a looksee at them war planes and ordinary missile carriers and they made such a goddamn ruckus." "You can see all of them this time," smiled Hans, "if they create a fuss our George will send a missile into their backyard, he's just waiting to do so" "Why doesn't he jus do dat?" "Needs an excuse," smiled Hans, "and we could give him one." "Yeah but tell 'im to wait till we get out, quite an impatient dude is our President" said the African American, "don' wanna no missile kissin' 'oles in my pants." "One of the first things we will have to do," said Hans rubbing his hands , "is to look for weapons of mass destruction, and destroy them." "I nid ti know wat to destroy. Wat dey luk like?" Yu got any pictures?" "Yes," said the chief, holding up a picture for all of them to see. "Hey dats a man yu ave over dere" "Its Saddam? "Yeah its Saddam!" "E's the weapon we got to destroy?" Hans smiled as he put the picture back in his pocket. |
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