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Commonwealth..!

Our country's chief official at the Commonwealth Games sat with his assistant, at the sports village in Manchester sipping a large scotch with soda and water, while his assistant sipped a cup of weak English tea. "We should have more of these world sport events," he said as he took a big gulp from his glass and motioned the waiter for a refill, "it is very good for the country." "Our athletes will be able to get world level competition Sir," said his assistant.

"Very true, very true," said the chief official, absentmindedly and then pointed at his glass " We third world countries need exposure to such stuff." "Our athletes are not doing very well Sir", said his assistant worriedly.

"No advisors," said his chief.

"Advisors Sir?" "Yes, we should tell our government to have a bigger contingent of officials who can act as advisors to the athletes. I believe the hockey and football team should have one advisor per player." "Do you think that that will work Sir. Will our teams start winning?" "It will give the officials a greater exposure to." "Foreign whisky Sir?" "You are learning." "But what about the athletes Sir?" "No drinking for them, what will the host country think? They will think that that is the only reason our sports people come for such events. We have to be strict. Our country's name is at stake." "No, no Sir, I meant will our athletes benefit from so many officials attending the games?"

"Of course they will. When we go back satisfied, we will recommend more games for them to attend, even if they don't win any medals. That will take away their tension, of having to win. We must think of ourselves as a close knit family, working for each others happiness. I hope you are happy with everything? " "Yes Sir, very much Sir. I do miss my wife sometimes though." "Call her over. Phone your wife immediately." "But Sir.. what about the expense?" "Has she played any games in her youth?" "She knows chess Sir." "Very good put her down as a strategist for our shooting team." "But there is no strategy in shooting Sir." "Do you think the auditor sitting back home knows that. Do you think our sports minister cares."

"There he is with his wife Sir, the sports minister." "That is not his wife. Why do you think we come alone, so that we will be able to sharpen our bedroom sporting skills. Are you sure you want to ring your wife, you could use that money to practise with the local talent?" "Sir, I think our country has won a bronze, shall we go to the stands and cheer our member?" "You go, I will finish my drink. Congratulate the winner for me and tell him that we are arranging a big party for him this evening . Arrange a big bash. Have a cabaret, a strip tease too, and lots of good bourbon and scotch. With such a victory we should share our government's common wealth..!

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